A Blast Magazine blog
June 30, 2008 1 Comment
Floyd Landis lost his last appeal in keeping his 2006 Tour de France title. To tell you the truth, I care about cycling about as much as Tila Tequila cares about “Fucking Ya Man.” Basically, I just needed a reason to post this video and show Floyd that he might have a future with Keystone Light in bringing back a truly transcendent advertising campaign.
June 29, 2008 Leave a Comment
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Mel B on the Singing Office, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Awful Announcing – John Daly Teeing Off Atop Kid Rock’s Budweiser Can
Coed Magazine – The Babes Of Wimbeldon
Tirico Suave – The Sports Movie Slow Clap Hall of Fame
D.C. Sports Bog – Morning Look: Four Portis Costumes!
Cuzgoogle – Favorites To Win Miss Universe
The Sports Hernia – Legendary Foreign Draft Prospects Of The NBA
The Money Shot – Hollywood NBA Lottery Mock Draft
June 26, 2008 1 Comment
The Ultimate Warrior returned to the ring last night for the first time in 10 years among various security threats. Upon hearing of these apparent threats, Warrior said, “Bring it on — with all of the frustration and mishaps that happened in Spain, that will give me an excuse to kill someone and get away with it.” I just love the idea of him having a blog, it’s like giving a mental institution a radio station. It might be the best entertainment on the internet next to his countless old school interview videos on youtube.
As for the match, Warrior was victorious over the NWE Champion, Orlando Jordan. He then promptly state that he wished to vacate the belt. When is this guy going to be back on tv. I just want to hear some commentary on him from the Soup.
June 26, 2008 Leave a Comment
I saw this on Deuce of Davenport this morning and it just made me laugh as hard as I did last night watching Baby Borrowers. Chase Stuart from pro-football-reference.com has updated his list of the worst quarterbacks of all-time with Big Joey at the head of the class. He gives the former Duck a little credibility by saying, “To be clear, Joey Harrington probably isn’t the worst quarterback of all time in an absolute sense. But in terms of being so far below average, but far enough above miserable to earn more playing time, Joey Harrington hurt his team more than any other QB in NFL history.” Wow, Burn.
June 25, 2008 Leave a Comment
So, the lack of posts is do to a lot of laziness and the fact that I will be heading down to the cathedral that is Yankee Stadium tomorrow to catch the first game of the subway doubleheader with the Mets. This will be my first trip to Yankee Stadium so I’m about as pumped as Kobe was to win a BET Award. Anyway, I think it’ll be a great time to see some true baseball history because I’m a baseball nerd like that, and I’ll be sure to get some pictures of Yankee fans going off on Mets fans some apparent reason that no one is aware of.
The other thing I wanted to mention was that last night on the Shot at Love 2 Reunion special, Sirbrina confirmed the news on the air that I broke weeks ago.
June 22, 2008 Leave a Comment
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Busted Coverage – College World Series All-Porn Name Team
The Big Lead – Look Out, Natalie Gulbis, Here Comes Perry Swenson
FB Kid – RIP “Pacman” Jones
The World of Isaac – 10 Things The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance
June 20, 2008 Leave a Comment
I found this on Deadspin and it quite possibly be the best example of pre-game hype I have 
ever come across, This is Nolberto Solano of Peru and he is pointing his weapon at the jersey of Urugauy. The campaign was not successful in that Peru lost by a score of 6-0. I’m just waiting for these over the top gimmicks to cross over into America. Forget the gun, I got some better ideas:
1. Show Johnathan Papelbon drawing dicks on a picture of Mariano Rivera’s face.
2. Show Dmitri Young taking a dump on an opposing team’s field
3. Have Gilbert Arenas wiping his ass with his latest contract offer.
June 19, 2008 Leave a Comment
Luckily I work right on Boylston St., so I was able to sneak out for a little bit and catch some of the Celtics’ rolling rally. Paul Pierce and KG held the MVP and Championship trophies respectively, while Glenn Davis just refused to be contained by any sort of fabric. He very well could be the next Matthew McConaughey, living a life void of garments for the upper torso. Live well, Big Baby, may no rules, regulations or restrictions hold you back from showing off that chiseled physique of which so many fans are already aware. Go forth young man and blaze a trail that the population has been yearning for, a world without shirts, may nipples be free. Â
June 19, 2008 Leave a Comment
This post comes from special correspondent Tom, for some much needed WWE action. Tom can be found writing words of pure majesty at mindexplosion.net.
Happy belated birthday to former (and present in my heart) WWF heavyweight champion of the world, comic book writer, and true American patriot, The Ultimate Warrior. 49 years ago on June 16, The Warrior’s mother’s birth canal received a gorilla press drop, and introduced to the world one of the greatest human beings ever to walk God’s green earth. Although he has been somewhat out of the spotlight for the past few years, the Warrior has kept a blog and even posts videos from time to time when he isn’t busy teaching the world that queering doesn’t make the world work.
Although Vince McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania was quite the promotional vehicle, I believe The Ultimate Warrior has trumped him with his recent contest to spread the news of his return to the squared circle on June 25th in Barcelona, Spain. On his latest video blog, Warrior offers sweat drenched, used workout tank tops off of his own back to a few lucky fans. All you have to do, is submit an inspirational comment to the Warrior’s website, and it better fucking be good. Remember, this is the same guy who beat the shit out of Hulk Hogan in his prime. Check out the video, but you will have to wait through a solid 2 minutes and 47 seconds of Warrior’s bicep workout and a modern day pose down before he speaks but it is well worth it.
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Even the soundtrack is epic… In fact, cancel the 2009 Academy awards and give all of the awards to the Warrior right now.
Best Actor: Ultimate Warrior
Best Supporting Actor: Ultimate Warrior’s Massive Pythons
Best Actress: Any man who dare stand next to the Warrior.
You think Barack Obama is an inspirational speaker? Ultimate Warrior for president… of the Universe. Rest assure his platform will not be one of “change†but instead, one of death, destruction and clotheslines. Here is a tidbit of Warrior’s awe inspiring rhetoric in case you missed it:
“I wear these white tank tops for a couple reasons, I’ll give you one of them today. Cause it reminds me of a time when I was a young kid, and it was the only kind of tank top, athletic top you could get. And the only protein performance enhancement you had was the milk in the refrigerator and busting you your ass and busting balls inside the gym.â€
In related news, the Iron Sheik is still awaiting a response to his open challenge to The Ultimate Warrior.
June 18, 2008 Leave a Comment
Days after winning his 14th major title, it looks like the Willis Reed of golf is going to require surgery on the knee that gave him so much pain in the process of his victory. A stress fracture caused the obvious pain that Woods suffered in the 91 hole odyssey. Woods will be out the rest of the season which includes the upcoming Ryder Cup, maybe we can get Rocco on the team for sure now. This does make this past win more impressive as well as quelling rumors that Tiger is in fact a cyborg built for golf and fist pumps.
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