The Perfect Trade

I saw this on Deadspin this morning, who got it courtesy of Roto-World, and I thought about not writing anything because I’m still pretty hungover at work. However, this story was just too good. The scene was Fenway Park and the occasion was a 40th birthday of someone known just as the “Hammer.” It involves a slew of pornographic photos that made their way into the Red Sox bullpen. We’ll let the original writer tell the tale:

Last season at Fenway, a funny thing happened in Section 41. About 10 guys were there to celebrate some guy’s 40th birthday party (his name was “Hammer”) as well as another person’s 15th wedding anniversary. Most of them were out of towners that were not even real die-hard Red Sox fans, but the point is that they came in smashed and continued to drink like fish while there. By the second inning, we start to find out one reason why the “Hammer” is called the “Hammer”. He pulls out of his shirt pocket some pictures of his recent trip to some Caribbean Island. The first few pictures look innocent enough with him and some hot chick who apparently was his ex-wife. The 4th picture shocks you: his ex-wife is COMPLETELY naked…and it goes on from there…we’re talking about a complete pornographic sequence here. And they were passing these pictures around to each other and also to nearby fans having a jolly good time discussing the hammering ability of the “Hammer” among many other things.

One of them gets the idea that the “moneyshot” picture should be shown to the players in the Red Sox bullpen. So he folds the picture and flicks it over the railing so that it lands in the steps of the bullpen. And that is when the party really started.Papelbon comes out of the dugout during the game holding the picture in his hand with a bemused face looking for the guy who threw the picture. The whole section starts buzzing with excitement and Papelbon and the “Hammer’s” friend who threw the picture start talking to each other. I cannot hear what was said, but during the next half-inning break, Papelbon emerges. The section goes nuts again and this time Papelbon signals to the “Hammer” to get ready to catch a pitch, and he throws a baseball to the “Hammer”. It was signed by the entire Red Sox bullpen, and they wrote “Thanks for the bullpen pics”.

Naturally, everyone started going crazy at this point, and the Hammer’s friend tried to get more signed baseballs. Throughout the rest of the game, Papelbon, Timlin and one other reliever were talking and joking around with the Hammer’s friends and a deal was worked out whereby the “Hammer” would sign one of the pictures (he signed it “Thanks for the autographed baseball, The Hammer”) and allow the Red Sox to keep the picture in their bullpen in exchage for more signed baseballs. Meanwhile, everyone in the stadium can see the craziness going in with the Red Sox bullpen. Even the security guard was shown the pictures and her reaction was quite priceless. All in all, it was quite the day and quite the scene.

Now, where do you go from here? The only logically next step is to start passing along some home made sex tapes. Oh and in this photo, Pap looks like he just shit on the coats.fenway_park_06-23-2006_0511.jpg

In Alcohol, Fans, Issues, MLB, Public, Red Sox Jun 11th, 2008 | No Discussion |

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