NFL 2008: The Rookie “Most-Likely’s”

July 15, 2008   1 Comment  

With less than two weeks until training camp, I thought I would throw out some predictions.  

20061010_vikingfan_2.jpgMost Likely to Over-AcheiveJohn David Booty - he went in the 5th round, but he has to be happy to go to a team where the QB job could be his by the end of next season. He’s accurate and his less than ideal arm-strength won’t hurt him too much in the west-coast offense. However, I do feel that Viking fans, as part of the NFC North, will have something to say about this whole three name thing. The name John David Booty sounds like an actor on some CW drama.

Most-Likely to become Ricky WilliamsAqib Talib - Three positive marijuana tests in college do not bode well for this first round pick. He’s going to make a lot of picks in the cover 2 if he can lay off the bong. I guess he just needs to find his anti-drug.

Most-Likely to be a BustVernon Gholston- there is a reason that you didn’t see him winning many awards while he was at Ohio St. He is inconsistent and I don’t see him being a leader, which I feel is a characteristic a number 6 pick should possess. Will likely soon be known as the “ghost” for his disappearing acts. 

10842948_240x180.jpg

Most-Ready to be a Cincinnati BengalJason Shirley – he’s a defensive tackle from Fresno St. He also only played 3 games his senior year after being suspended twice before being dismissed from the team entirely. Roger Goodell already has him on the Most-Wanted list.

Most-Likely to be hated by his coachLeodis McKelvin- he is going to be a corner playing in the cover 2, who does not like to come up and make tackles. He’ll be playing for Dick Jauron, who was a defensive back himself in ’70s, which makes him not a pussy. Look for numerous remarks involving the term pansy.

Most-Likely to pull a Michael VickDarren McFadden – Vick’s friends were his demise, and now McFadden comes in with brother’s in rival gangs. I can see his brothers right now running a chop shop out of some warehouse that McFadden owns. My bet is that it will be called Big Rock’s Shop.

2416491_231_full.jpg

Detailing The Torture

July 14, 2008   Leave a Comment  

This comes from The Legend of Cecilio Guante and describes why sometimes I just want to write posts about Flavor Flav. Here is the Anatomy of a Sports Blogger Slump.

Sunday Dumb Day 7/13

July 13, 2008   Leave a Comment  

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby, here is this week’s wrap-up.

Deadspin – Meet The Stripper Who Saved The Red Sox

Joe Sports Fan - Fan of the Week: I Think I Threw Up In My Mouth…

Busted Coverage – Phil Hellmuth Raises Bar For Greatest Sports Entrance – Ever

Tirico Suave – I Now Hate Brett Gardner Less Than I Hate Other Yankees (Kevin Youkilis Had A Bit Part In Milk Money?)

The Sports Hernia – Tampa Bay Inexplicably Redesigns Logo Again 

Associated Press – Strange discontinued Olympic sports

NY Post – Finger-Dipping Play-By-Play

Lion In Oil – There’s Great Genes In This QB Battle

Uncoached – These MLB Pitchers Remind me of Streetfighter II Characters

hilary-swank-workout-secret.jpg

Barack Is Getting In On Nascar

July 11, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Barack Obama will be sponsoring a car in the August 3rd race at Pocono. Ken Schraeder will be driving the No. 49 car and will probably be losing a little bit of his fan base as a result. I just don’t see this being a good idea, it kind of made sense for George Bush to do it in 2004. This would be like a republican presenting an Academy Award. One good thing is that it will be in PA and not down South, but either way I think I’m pretty sure of the Nascar fanbase’s political leanings, the same way I lean when I take my morning piss, to the right.

bo.jpg

Update: A deal was not reached and it is probably for the better of all parties involved.

One WWE Diva Is A Dirty Girl

July 11, 2008   1 Comment  

cd.jpgCandice Michelle of the WWE had her past career a fetish model come to light back in November, but the Wrestling News Desk has uncovered some new material that will save some money you probably would have spent on Reality Kings. This time her interests were in bondage, and I’m just hoping that this gets worked into the storyline somehow. I want a Toastee-Flavor Flav moment in the middle of the ring. Anytime that fetishes can be brought up on national tv, the more I love where entertainment has gone.

I Hear Tom Emanski Makes Bank

July 11, 2008   Leave a Comment  

emanski_mcgriff.jpgI wikipedia’d Tom Emanski today rather than doing my usual at work, reading trivia on imdb. Anyway, in his entry it states that in 2003 he was involved in an IRS probe that revealed his net worth was at $75 million. You would think that he could have afforded to get a new pitchman, (I think I saw some hipster on the street the other day with that shirt on) but either way at least he’s got them on DVD now. It may be an assumption, but I bet T-Man gets laid more than the Crime Dog ever did. One last thing, I think Joe Sports Fan found his myspace.

The 2014 Ryder Cup Is Going The Full Monty

July 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

monty_story.jpgColin Montgomerie will be the captain of team Europe in the 2014 Ryder Cup which will be in Scotland. This seemed like your basic story until you realize that there will be three Ryder Cup tournaments before Monty takes the helm. For this news to come out now must mean that Monty is more excited than A-Rod getting texts from Madonna.

Pro Slamball Player Slams Wife

July 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

sports089a.jpgJulie Donaldson of Channel 7 in Boston testified yesterday in her assault case against her boyfriend. This story wouldn’t be very relevant to me until the article states that her boyfriend, Ivan Lattimore, is a professional Slamball player. I’m just glad that this made news because otherwise, I wouldn’t have found out that Slamball will be coming back to tv this August. When it comes back, Lattimore may be in prison , but Stan “Shakes” Fletcher will be doing work on someone’s face.

Drunk Belarusian Refs, Yes I Was Able To Use Belarusian

July 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

A referee in Belrus showed up hammered to a game and had to be escorted off the field, he claimed to have back pain. People didn’t know he was drunk he until he got to the hospital, just like when you don’t realize a girl’s drunk until you get her back to your apartment.

Friday Night Lights News, Try To Hide Your Boner

July 9, 2008   Leave a Comment  

0000040438_20070613105030.jpgNBC’s Friday Night Lights has decided not to continue the storylines of Jason Street or Smash Williams. I figured this would have to happen since they graduated, but the Street thing is kind of surprising. Either way, it gives Lyla (Minka Kelly) more of a chance to whore it up a little bit and get rid of the god kick she is on. This show is incredible, which is probably the reason it’s still on the air after two seasons of poor ratings. Here are some of my predictions for the upcoming season:

1. Saracen loses starting spot to someone like Voodoo from the first season.

2. Said new starter has off-field issue and gets kicked off team, ends up in prison.

3. One of the big three (Lyla, Tyra and Julie) will get pregnant, stealing a storyline from Juno and everyother teen drama.

4. Hazing issue, i can’t believe that they’ve made it through two seasons without the obvious teabagging being addressed.

5. Buddy Garrett dies and Lyla becomes a bigger slut than Heather on I Love Money.