Monday Morning Punter from Kissing Suzy Kolber wants to give it to Judith Light (Who’s the Boss) about as much as I want to give it to their namesake.
Brandon Jennings’ European Vacation
July 9, 2008 Leave a Comment
Brandon Jennings has finally made the decision that he will play next season in Europe, rather than waiting for the outcome of a third college entrance exam. I think that they should do a reality show on B-Jen. It would be ridiculous to see a guy try and interact with people and teammates in a different country, speaking a different language, especially after not being able to qualify academically r college. I already got the title, Brandon Jennings Goes to Europe: Say What?. The first episode is him trying to get a haircut and ending up with some cut like Fabricio Oberto. No producer could pass up on a guy who once said this in describing his game:
“Someone like Jrue Holiday, he’s real smooth, goes to work in the first three quarters–but he’s not a killer yet. Me, I’m a killer.”
This is definitely a guy that David Stern is eagerly awaiting.
Listen Here Sweet Tooth: The Top 5 Sports Commercials Ever
July 8, 2008 40 Comments
5. United Way Sam Adams- Don’t not panic and make sure to keep an eye on Sam being saved in the pool, he looks more like a dead fish than Squintz in Sandlot.
4. Any The Rick Commercial – Okay, so this is only an outtakes segment, but it is the culmination of all that made the Rick my hero.
3. I Am Tiger Woods – Disguises at their best.
2. Tracy Morgan NFL 2k Football - The same guy that wants some discharge on his big mac, drops more one-liners than David Spade.
1. Any Michael Jordan Commercial- Watching a Michael Jordan Gatorade Commercial makes you feel like you need go try to find buy Gatorade in a glass bottle. Watching a Michael Jordan Nike Commercial makes you feel like you want to go fight with William Wallace in the big battle in Braveheart.
Did A-Rod And Madonna Have A Carmen Electra-Dennis Rodman Moment
July 8, 2008 Leave a Comment
Leave it to Fox News to start some rumors, but I wouldn’t read them otherwise. They have a timeline here detailing how a freak named Madge might have been detrimental to A-Rod’s early season groin injury.
Nadal Wins In Girlfriend Battle Also
July 7, 2008 1 Comment
This one definitely wasn’t as close as the match. I hadn’t posted today, so I settled with a picture that is to small, but you get the idea.
Sunday Dumb Day 7/6
July 6, 2008 Leave a Comment
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to that girl on Law and Order: SVU, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Onthe205th – NFL Superbust Tony Mandarich Is A Photographer Now?
SportsFiends – From Finals MVP To Pill Pusher
Puck Daddy – Paulina Gretzky Proves That Wayne Is The Great One At Everything
Sports Biz – USA Basketball Team Photo: Artistic Or Logo “Conspiracy”?
The Sporting Blog – Putting The P Into ESPN
The King Of All Tube Steaks
July 3, 2008 3 Comments
So I’m one of those losers that watch the hot dog eating contest every year and right now I’m anticipating this year’s showdown more than the premier of the Greatest American Dog. In all of this fanfare I actually try and read up a little bit and get the latest news, like Kobayshi jaw problems from last year, but in this research I came across an incredible line written in an article on foxnews.com. Here’s the lead to the story:
Takeru Kobayashi of Japan smashed the world record in 2001 and was unbeatable for more than half a decade until America’s Joey Chestnut became the new king of all tube steaks at Coney Island last year.
I thought “the king of all tube steaks” distinction went to Pete Wentz, who called himself “half gay” while still managing to lay seed in a Simpson sister.
U.S. Gets Even Worse At Soccer
July 2, 2008 Leave a Comment
FIFA has just released their latest world rankings and the U.S. dropped 9 spots to 30th in the world. They currently sit just behind the Ivory Coast and Ukraine. Luckily, I hold the key to solving this long sought after riddle of why the U.S. is piss-poor at the world’s game. We just need hotter fans.
Just Like A Prayer, You Know I’ll Take You There: A-Rod and Jose Similarities?
July 1, 2008 2 Comments
Alex Rodriguez and Jose Canseco are two men who differ in many ways. One is at the height of his playing career, while the other is broke and embroiled in a post-career controversy. One is a Hall of Fame bound superstar, while the other is struggling to stay on reality tv. One plays for the Yankees, while the other last played for the Long Beach Armada. However, with all of these differences it’s tough to overlook the apparent similarities between two men at each end of the baseball consciousness:
Background
A-Rod and Canseco both grew up and played high school baseball in the Miami are before being drafted out of high school. Rodriguez was a highly touted prospect, but both went on to join the 40-40 club of which only four men are members. While both are members of this exclusive fraternity, one cannot overlook the best remembered highlights of their respective careers.
Signature Embarrassing Moments
First, let’s talk about Jose and the highlight that is banned from youtube by MLB. You know the highlight I’m talking about, so we’ll just say he fucked up worse than Heidi when she pissed off LC. As for A-rod, we’ll just say that he resemble either of the Hills duo with his limp-wristed slap in the ALCS.
Penchant for Playboy
Last Summer there was the Stray-Rod scandal involving a girl who was only good enough to be on Cyber Playboy. Apparently he tried to step it up a notch and get a girl that was actually in the mag, too bad it was Jose’s wife. I bet part of you wishes that happened, I can see them now as some guests on Maury because they are definitely too high profile for Jerry.
The Material Girl is En Vogue
Now, the two have one more thing in common, an obvious relationship with Madonna in which both are denying having sex. Madonna has proven over the years to be more of a nympho than Heather Graham in Boogie Nights.
Jose has already proven to be a little nuts with his appearance on Surreal Life, but A-Rod starting to seem a little too Tom Cruise for myself as a fan and L. Ron Hubbard has no place in pinstripes. Here is the inevitable headline: A-Rod and Madonna Form Scientology-Kabbalah School In Africa.
Criminal Geniuses Steal $1.1M During Euro Cup Final
July 1, 2008 Leave a Comment
A Sarajevo post office was robbed of $1.1M on Sunday after security guards were taken by surprise as they watched the Euro Cup final between Spain and Germany. Like a scene out of Heat, men stormed the building and made off with the, while also beating the stunned security guards in the process. So, first they surprise them, while they aren’t doing their job, then they beat them. They got kicked, while they were down worse than Britney Spears in a child custody courtroom. I also want to know how a post office had $1.1M, did they have really rare stamps?
