The conspiracy started August 15th as millions of people tuned in to the 100m butterfly event at the Beijing Olympics and pretended to care about who actually won. A kid from Baltimore with ADD and DUI made bars across the country almost unbearable for over an entire week. Personally, I would have rather been watching some PNC Park action, but I instead got sloshed on Studweiser pitchers to make the scene more bearable. Americans stood across the country and held their breath as Milorad Cavic of Serbia appeared to win and end Phelps’ run at eight golds. Many cared a great deal, myself not included, but as 100thofasecond.com puts it, probably none cared more than Phelps’ sponsor Omega. Omega if you did not know has sponsored Mr. Speech Impediment since 2004 and coincidentally was the official timekeeper of the race. Anyone who finds it comical that we live in the age of Loose Change and countless Michael Moore movies has to check out this site and cackle like I did watching the Bob Saget Roast. Anyway, this guy might have a point with this photo, but the real question is how many times he whacks off per day? I’m guessing 3 on average. Once to the girl on the Big Bang Theory, and at least twice to the trailer of the new Star Trek movie.