Bernhard Langer Is Sparkling White And Shining Bright, In A Tree

Sept. 29, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Here is a video I saw today on collegehumor and it has some sports relevance, so I thought I would post it. Bernhard Langer hits a ball into a tree and it stays there, he then climbs up the tree and plays the ball onto the green. Finally, I heard the announcer call him sparkling white and shining bright, what does that mean? He had so may opportunities for other references, but he chose one that didn’t make sense at all. “Bernhard is so high right right now, and using some wood to his advantage. His wife would never believe this.” That would have been more appropriate in my eyes.

Uncle Junior Sings The Best National Anthem

Sept. 29, 2008   Leave a Comment  

I went to game 1 of the Yankees-Sox yesterday afternoon and not only was a treated to seeing Johnny Pesky number hung in right field, but I also got to see Dominic Chianese, Uncle Junior from the Sopranos, sing one of the best versions of the national anthem I have ever heard. This comes days after Chianese made a play to sing at the final game in Yankee Stadium. They denined his request, but Fenway brass was more than happy to bring in the Bronx native. I couldn’t find the video from yesterday, so let me know if you see it anywhere. So what made his version so good? He sang with more enthusiasm than a 13 year old watching a sybian ride for the first time on Howard TV. Anyway, here is a video from the NY Post about his situation with the pinstripes.

Johnny Gomes, What's Dioner Navarro's Dick Taste Like?

Sept. 29, 2008   Leave a Comment  

When their not busy tag-teaming Coco Crisp, it seems that Johnny Gomes like to drink his Stud Light from the sack protector of his catcher, Dioner Navarro, according to Big League Stew. Apparently, Joe Maddon also partook, but did he take off those glasses that make him look like he should be sipping a latte outside an Armani Exchange somehwere?

Matt Millen, Boyz II Men, Profanity

Sept. 25, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Here is a link to Tirico Suave, who had a little something to say to Matt Millen in the form of some mid 90s R&B mixed in with some movie references. Well said Tirico and for you as a Lions fan, may god have mercy on your soul.

The Rank: Vendors

Sept. 24, 2008   Leave a Comment  

The Best

1. Peanut Guy – Peanuts have been a staple of sporting events for a long time and the person holding this iconic position stands above all others. This vendor stands alone because not only is his product well-respected, but very rarely can one (not named Kyle Farnsworth) be paid to throw objects at another human being.

2. Beer Guy – The long-time flag bearer of the vendor ranks has come under fire recently with the rising price of the product as well as the constant IDing of legal age consumers has become a major setback. Not to mention the resistance to providing caps to beer bottles, however the product adds a new element to game and will continue to be a staple for the rowdiest of fans. This goes without saying, but the “Beer Man” is also the most distinguish. Their brethren include the Phillies Miller Lite guy who is a sight to behold, notice the little girl that runs away at the end.

3. Cracker Jack Guy – Some could call the Cracker Jack Guy to be the pinnacle of vending due to the shear history of the product, but it has definitely seen better days as it can really only be seen during baseball games. It may be a product of the past, but there is still a strong contingent that relies on being rewarded with a prize at the bottom of the box.

The Worst

1. Cotton Candy Guy – In a battle of Royal Rumble of ballpark foods, cotton candy would fair the same as Martin Gramatica in a Royal Rumble of NFL kickers. Beer and Peanuts would beat the pink novelty worse than George Lucas’ daughter. This fact going along with the constant hassling over the obstructed view that it creates, makes this vendor job the worst of all. Respect is lost and nothing is gained, the only question I have is if the vending industry works the same way as the porn industry. Do vendors have to start out with cotton candy just like guys in porn have to start out with some gay action?

One Of The Girls Next Door Prefers Third String Receivers to An 81 Year Old Icon

Sept. 23, 2008   Leave a Comment  

I saw this on Hot Clicks, which included a link to Tyler Durden so I had to check out the latest news that will soon be showing up on E!. Looks like Kendra has moved on from the mansion and into the bed of a third year vet from New Mexico, Hank Baskett. The real question is how many NFLers Kendra has run through since proclaiming her love for the sport on the TV show. At least she knows she’s set now, especially if those fitness tapes don’t work out.

Mike Tomlin: Dey Know

Sept. 15, 2008   1 Comment  

It turns out Mike Tomlin has a second job that he’s damn good at. . . Take a look at rapper Shawty Lo compared to Tomlin

and i quote tomlin from his single . . .

M.T. . . I got flavor
Cuz you know the kid got paper
Street thug but I can be tailored
Every now and then i might rock gators
i’m the man and I know that
I got cash i’m talkin throw back
100 grand what’s that
I hit the club and I blow that
all these hoes know that
Im picture perfect made for Kodak

The Second Coming's Birthday

Sept. 12, 2008   1 Comment  

Happy Birthday, you old bastard. . .

I’d like to introduce myself to all of the disciples, I’m the MESSIAH, and i’ll be your holy ghost from here on out . . .

So I’m livin here in Cleveland while I’m going to law school, and the crap I read and see about Ohio State and the Cleveland Browns makes me absolutely sick. There was an article in the Plain-Dealer yesterday, suggesting that Tressel intentionally had his team play terribly last week to “set up” USC.  I didn’t mind Ohio State before, but now I hope they lose by 40.  To make matters worse, the article cited Terry Bowden, that’s right, Terry Bowden, as the expert on these matters.  There’s a reason that grits-eating Bayou rat has been out of coaching for the last decade, and that’s because he is dumber than Vince Young taking the WonderLIc.  I gotta go now, but i’ll be back in a little bit to address the Browns.

Peace Be with you

And also with you

Guy Catches Fire At Carnoustie

Sept. 11, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Okay, it didn’t happen on the championship course and he didn’t even play at all, a guy was actually on fire, and not like Denzel, at the 11th tee on the Buddon Course at Carnoustie. The greenskeeper who spotted the burning body had this to say to the Scottish Sun, “I got a fright. I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s not something you see every day.” Thanks for letting me know, I’ll be a lot calmer during my next 18 knowing that “it’s not everyday that you see a guy acting out that Jonas Brothers song.” Wow, a Jonas Brothers reference, ouch. So with that greenskeeper news comes some Bill Murray, so you got that going for you.

Believe Merch Gets Ruthless And An Old Song Called Tom's Brady's A C#nt

Sept. 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Here’s the link to believemerch.com which is a site with some pretty good Steelers apparel, not to mention a shirt that Tom Brady fans wont’s really appreciate. Also, here is a song that WDVE Pittsburgh made before the 2004 AFC Championship game that I feel needs posting.

[audio:http://thisisgodgiven.com/files/2008/09/tom-bradys-a-cnt.mp3]