This news is old, I know. However, the comparison had to be made to Cheddar Bob from the film classic 8 Mile. Thanks for helping my fantasy team Plax.
Steelers Or The Guy Lost For President
Nov. 24, 2008 Leave a Comment
I found this video on Pittsburgh Sports and Miniature Ponies, which I feel is the best named blog on the internet, and realized that I need to add a political aspect to this blog. I mean if NFL owners are endorsing candidates then why shouldn’t 6 year old girls that pick their nose be heard. Overall, I found her assessment to be dead on. Also, to analyze this discussion further; she doesn’t seem to know her name and she sounds exactly like either Huey, Dewey or Louie from Ducktales.
Billy Bob Trying To Be P. Diddy
Nov. 24, 2008 Leave a Comment
The other day I sat down and watched Not Another Teen Movie because it was on TV and I needed a reason to drink. While watching that piece of shit, I saw Billy Bob parodying his role from Varsity Blues and wondered what happened to him. Really, I just wanted to see if he was still a fat fuck with an accent. I then found out that his real name is Ron Lester and he’s lost like 35 pounds and been on both Montel and Tyra, so he’s approaching the A-list. Then, I noticed that he has is own website with audition tapes, movie reels and even those day-time talk appearances. After finding this stuff, I was forced to go search for him on youtube and found some video journals that are classic. Billy Bob’s just got to take some lessons from Puff and learn how make those real. Let’s compare.
vs.
Time to get after it, Billy Bob.
Sunday Dumb Day 11/23
Nov. 23, 2008 Leave a Comment
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Rihanna performing on the American Music Awards, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Mr. Irrelevant – Wait, The Redskins Had An Actual Mascot
Empty the Bench – The NBA’s Most Depressing Players of 2008-09
The Sports Culture – The Many Gang Sings of OJ Mayo
Big League Stew – Dave Parker And The Greatest Shirt In The History Of Shirts
Gunaxin – The All-Whitey Basketball Team
Alana G – The REAL Shaq Is Really Twittering
The World of Isaac – Stacy Keibler Vs. Blair O’Neal
FanIQ – Denver Nuggets Cheerleader Makes Announcers Go Speechless
Blaze of Love – The NBA Ugly List
Yardbarker – Sheed’s Nicknames For His Teammates
Pittsburgh Sports And Miniature Ponies – Sydney Crosby Is Good At Soccer, Too
Roger Goodell Must Think Pacman Is The Sexiest Man Alive
Nov. 20, 2008 Leave a Comment
Pacman Jones was re-instated by Roger Goodell and I found that there could only be one reason that this could have occurred. First off, Goodell should not of suspended him for this last mishap due to his team-issued body guard starting the fracas. Secondly, if he did need to suspend him, then he should not be re-instated so easily, I just think he pulling a little flip flop after all of that election talk over recent weeks.
Let me set the scene for you, Mr. Commissioner sits down on his couch and picks up the most recent issue of People magazine, which depicts Hugh Jackman as their latest “Sexiest Man Alive.” Goodell began to ponder who he thought was the sexiest man alive and since George Clooney took the spot a couple of years ago, he decided to go with Pacman and for this reason, let him back into the league. In lieu of this occasion I, the Second Coming, have created a cover issue for the coffeetable in the league office and more importantly, for Roger Goodell bathroom.
Who Does Tyler Hansbrough Think He Is?
Nov. 19, 2008 3 Comments
In looking for a picture of that hideous suit that Tyler Hansbrough was wearing last night, I came across this post by The Dagger. They made a great observation that the reigning player of the year resembles a Biloxi Pit Boss. I would have to agree with that, but I would definitely have to say that he more closely looks like an 8th grader attending his first boy-girl dance. His haircut would obviously go with that theme, I bet he pulls out the Old Navy tech vest next. I seriously think Tyler still dances the way he did at that first dance.
Manny On The Hills
Nov. 18, 2008 Leave a Comment
This is the only way that the Hills can get better. Every week I tune in and I don’t care who knows of this guilty pleasure. Every week, I scorn Spencer for being a douche and search online for naked pictures of LC. After last night’s episode however, I feel that the show needs a spark and that could done with Manny making an appearance and hopefully stealing Audrina from Justin Bobby. Let’s make this happen, Do It Up.
Steve Nash Is Faster Than Sharks
Nov. 17, 2008 1 Comment
Steve Nash is once again underrated in something else, his comedic abilities. There are a series of these videos bbut this one is the best entirely because of the swimming with sharks line. Although maybe Steve is just jumping on this funny canadians thing that Seth Rogen started.
My Future Child
Nov. 15, 2008 1 Comment
Although it may be a few years away, because I am not an All-American, I have mapped out a plan in grooming and training an athlete that will make Spike from Little Giants look like his favorite show is Beauty and the Geek. Oh wait, he was on that show so it’s probably a bad example, also check this video out cause they definitely went wrong somewhere. Alright so that tangent was just getting back to the fact that my future son will be an athletic specimen. Here is how I lay out his future:
Years – Pre-conception through Birth
- Find tall strong women in the mold of a Hope Solo.
- Make wife lift during pregnancy so baby is already gaining muscle.
- Have entire crowd in delivery room cheering. The earlier he gains confidence, the better.
Years – Infant through Toddler
- Alternate days tying each hand behind his back so that he becomes ambidextrous.
- Only allow him to drink milk in order to practice for his future endorsement.
- Create entire nursery made of “Heart of the Hide” leather including pigskin blankets.
- Recreate this scene so that he develops comfortability with fame that is sure to follow him.
Years – Elementary School
- Begin Bo Jackson training regimen of nightly push-ups and sit-ups.
- Commence diet of all protein, with emphasis on beef jerky
- Coach little leagues and midget football teams to develop star quality.
- Make him memorize Dougie’s Goin’ Deep articles to get the innocence out of him.
Years – Middle School
- Begin daily “Ichiro” like training schedule with a focus on the big 3 sports.
- Choose best AAU programs in basketball and baseball, but allow to still play in town for football to gain some local recognition as well as news articles.
- Don’t allow to reach peak with females just yet, has too much prove in coming years.
Years – High School
- Start training with supplements, while making sure to continue speed training. You know like Ryan Harris from Notre Dame when he was on True Life.
- Make start working labor jobs during the Summer to realize he needs to work hard to get the attention.
- Allow to start slaying girls so that he gets it out of his system before the real work starts.
- Only grant interviews to national media to increase hype.
Years – College
- Only accept draft deal if picked in first 10 picks of MLB Draft.
- Find program that will allow two to three sport participation.
- Warn him of the trials and tribulations of Travis Henry.
- Finish degree following junior year and enter MLB, NBA, and NFL drafts.
Years – Professional
- Find him a hot wife.
- Hire Scott Boras or Drew Rosenhaus.
- Pick out the house that I want and find second wife.
What You Need To Do
- Prepare yourself for The Third Coming.
