Tecmo Super Bowl Predicts the Super Bowl Champion
By The One and Only | Leave a Comment
We used vNES to simulate a game between the Steelers and Cardinals on the greatest football game of all time, Tecmo Super Bowl. Since we don’t know how to update rosters, we simulated using the game’s original rosters, which means the Cardinals are actually known as the Phoenix Cardinals. Here was the outcome:
First Quarter
The game [...]
A Day in the Life: Detective Roc Hoover
By The Messiah | 1 Comment
7 AM: Roll over in bed and say to my wife, “You’ve gotta ask yourself one question, do you know what it’s like to play in the National Football League?â€
7:01 AM: My wife responds by kicking me in the groin after realizing that I pissed in the bed again. Yet another flashback to [...]
The Marty B Apology
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
Martellus Bennett got fined for a freestyle to “Get Money,” but now he has released his apology hoping to capitalize on the recent news. The apology isn’t bad and I agree with him that players need to be more accessible, like Chris Cooley showing his dick. I think the gay bashing may have did [...]
Football Owner To Ambassador? No, I’m Not Talking About Al Davis
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
There was an interview a few weeks back on KDKA in Pittsburgh that directly addressed the possiblity that Dan Rooney could be named as the next Ambassador to Ireland. Now, the Irish Times is reporting that Mr. Rooney heads the list. His competition includes Caroline Kennedy, and since she is busy banging publishers, we should [...]
Get Ready To Stroke Your Celery
By The Second Coming | 1 Comment
Dick Ebersol wasn’t having it when he banned this PETA add from being shown during the Superbowl. I will be venturing down to the game, so I will make sure to eat some post-game steak in PETA’s honor. I guess there are only two places for women with emotional problems to go. For ugly girls, [...]
Definition Of A Loser
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
We all like sports and root for our teams, but this queer takes it to a new level. To make it worse, this kid is getting egged on by girls, when does that happen? This kid reminds me of when Jerry O’Connell cries in Stand By Me. By the way, this video has been posted [...]
Lesbians And Athletes, Matches Made In Heaven
By The Second Coming | 2 Comments
In one of my better moments I was watching Kurt Warner highlights thinking about how he met his wife while he was bagging groceries and decided to take in the divorcee and her two children. It’s is probably the most solid move I have ever heard, while simultaneously being the dumbest decision of all time. [...]
Larry Fitzgerald, Lost Member Of Run’s House
By The Second Coming | 1 Comment
In all the Superbowl hype, I could not get over the resemblance between Rev Run and the soon to be marketing marvel, Larry Fitzgerald. So, even though Run’s House has come to a close, we can still hope for some cameos on Daddy’s Girls.
Blue Magic
By The Messiah | Leave a Comment
“What’s with this outfit? You know what it says? You wanna know what it says? Arrest me!”
Five minutes after this picture, Tomlin was seen carrying 50 equipment bags to a pick-up truck on the runway. Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden were ridin and packin shotgun. Pedro Gomez was at the scene and reported that it [...]
A Dialogue Of Erin Andrews
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
This came over from the Kornheiser Cartel and their thoughts are in the mold of the Dougie’s Goin’ Deep posts, but with a slighlty more attractive subject. They present to you, a Day in the Life of Erin Andrews. The only thing missing is the amount of time she must spend naked in front of [...]
And You Thought Jeff Reed’s Hair Couldn’t Get Better
By The Second Coming | 1 Comment
If you don’t know, Jeff Reed has recently bleached his hair for the playoff run and I guess it’s working. Here’s a video clip from the local KDKA station where Reed looks like he stepped out of Corey Feldman movie. He also manages to throw out jabs non-stop even with the Karate Kid homage on [...]
The Sport Count Isn’t Homo, But It Will Blow Your Mind
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
Here is an incredible post from the Sport Count. It is entitled the National Babe Association and draws parallels between current NBA-ers and their pop culture female counter parts. Also, the use this line in their “Durant jacked up a lot of ridiculous long-range bombs, while Fox succeeded only in inspiring the jacking off of [...]
College Coaches: Instant Fixes and Duds
By The One and Only | Leave a Comment
With the Inauguration of President Obama and the instant fix to the economy, unemployment, Middle East conflict, and War on Terror that comes with his presidency, we have decided to take a look at college coaches at major programs and the instant results that were supposed to come with their hirings.
Notre Dame Football- Charlie Weis
Charlie [...]
Get Ready To Punch Yourself In The Dick
By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment
Saw this over on Tirico Suave and it almost resulted in me being the next person to be featured on Intervention. To me, Skip Bayless is to ESPN as Bill Lumbergh is to Office Space.
Yes We Can, Buy This Shirt
By The Second Coming | 1 Comment
I am a t-shirt connoisseur who has been collecting more “Sucks and Swallows” t-shirts than I know what do do with (starting with the timeless phrase Dallas Sucks, Jerry Jones Swallows). However, I am definitely more likely to wear a clever t-shirt such as the one that states “Jeter Drinks Wine coolers.” Here a couple [...]
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- Blast Magazine - The Online Magazine
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