With Monday’s announcement of the Baseball Hall of Fame Class of 2009, it has prompted me to look at some of the more annoying things in sports.
10. Baseball Writers’ Association of America (BBWA)
The BBWA has the proud distinction of selecting who makes the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, arguably the most exclusive of all of the hall of fame’s in America. Unfortunately, the BBWA is filled with clowns who follow some ass backwards rules- namely that some of them refuse to vote for guys on the ballot the first time. The requirements for the hall states that 75% of voters must vote for a player….in the history of Major League Baseball no man has ever received 100% of the votes (Tom Seaver came the closest with 98.84%). Babe Ruth even missed out on 11 votes!
9. The NHL in Warm Weather Climates
The NHL use to be great. Use to be. Until it decided to expand to places where hockey was a foreign word. Until the NHL gets rid of Atlanta, Columbus (not warm weather, but seriously Columbus?), Tampa Bay, Florida, Phoenix, and two of the California teams, I will not care. There should be a rule that says if you can’t get a ski rental and go skiing in your town (or nearby), you should not have a hockey team. Unless it brings back the Whalers or the Nordiques, the two teams with the best unis in the sport.
Classy...
8. College Bowl Games
What do the San Diego County Credit Union, Papajohns.com, Roady’s, and Gaylord Hotels all have in common? They all sponsored bowl games, of which there are now 34 of, meaning 68 teams get to play in the college postseason (56.6% of teams in FBS). Meanwhile, 97 teams out of 347 (27%) go to the basketball postseason in some form in college basketball (NIT included). Bowl games used to mean something….now they mean a potential trip to Boise or Shreveport.
We're going to Idaho!
7. The Heavyweight Champion(s)
It would be great to see boxing make a return to the limelight. Especially the heavyweight division. But with currently 4 different men being recognized as the heavyweight champ by 5 different organizations, this isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
In the meantime, four men on the Medifast diet and exercise regimens can continue training.
6. Erin Andrews Lack of Naked Pictures
How this has not happened yet is beyond me. If this ever does come to happen, I’m convinced the Internet will blow up.
Something special
Erin Andrews is definitely a woman who has never needed a liquid diet or Medifast coupon in her life.
5. Bill Raftery does not Call the Final Four
Good news: Bill Packer is out. Bad news: the most entertaining man in college basketball probably still won’t get the chance to call the Final Four and yell “Onions!” every time Mario Chalmers hits a 3 in the final seconds…
Side note: Imagine Gus Johnson alongside Bill calling anything…the could make the World Scrabble Championships must viewing…some one take this idea to ESPN before they give Jim Rome more air time….
4. Sportswriters
I thank the Internet and ESPN for killing the world of sportswriting. Granted there are some very good ones still out there- Mike Wilbon and Rick Reilly- but there are also the likes of Jim Rome, every member of Around the Horn, Scoop Jackson and whoever else ESPN deems to be loud, obnoxious, idiotic and perfect to put on television. Most of these guys are nothing more than wannabe jocks who are still pissed about being cut from the basketball team in tenth grade. But unlike MJ, it didn’t drive them to be better athletes, rather it just made them want to sit on the sidelines and thrown stones. Grantland Rice must roll in his grave everytime Jay Mariotti talks…
3. No Sports Team in Las Vegas
Las Vegas is one of the greatest places on Earth. It is adult Disneyland. When guys win the Super Bowl they should say “I’m going to the Spearmint Rhino!” instead of the damn Disneyland line. Can you imagine a sports team in Vegas…mainly an NBA team. They would easily go 38-3 at home every year, cause every other team would be so hungover/still drunk from the previous night. Even better idea: make the Vegas team all rookies for it’s expansion year. They would win maybe 5 games all year, but the TV show that would follow the team could make for great entertianment. Get me ESPN on the phone cause I smell an Emmy for Best Reality TV Show…
Where real celebrations take place...
2. 8 PM games that start closer to 8:30
If you live on the West Coast this is probably not that big of a problem, but where the majority of the country lives, this is something that is getting out of hand. Monday Night Football starts close to 9:20 PM now and does not end until midnight. The World Series, NBA Finals and Stanley Cup are all decided between 11 and 12 at night. The biggest college football game of the week is the Saturday Night game…if I’ve been drinking all day at my normal pace I’m passed out by the second quarter. Maybe it is just getting older, but these late games suck.
1. Joe Buck
Randy Moss’ “disgusting act.” His smugness. His glasses. The fact that he called games for the Cardinals. He got his B.A. in English (alright I’m reaching for reasons to not like the guy, but honestly, nobody likes him so who cares). The fact that some of the biggest games in my lifetime I’ve had to suffer through him calling them (D-Backs/Yankees Series; McGwire’s 62nd HR; the Red Sox winning the World Series) . And his calling of this year’s World Series, where my hometown Phillies ended Billy Penn’s Curse, and all the jackass could talk about the whole series was the amazing season of the Rays and for some reason the Red Sox, who were home watching the series. I admit, I just don’t like the jerkface, hence he takes this spot.
Grade A Weenie...
Here is a response to one e-mail we received in response to this post:
Dear Will,
First off I would like to thank you for the opinion and the grammar tips because they will be extremely helpful in the future. As you can see throughout your journey through the serenity of This is God Given, we make very little attempt to do legitimate sportswriting. I am basically just looking for you to smirk or chuckle to yourself as I use some terribly unwitty metaphor in describing a certain development in the sports world. I am ecstatic that you see me as annoying and encourages me to continue with my unholy antics. In summation, is that correct structure? Anyway, go read some Anne Coulter and deep throat yourself, hardass.
Sincerely,
This is God Given
On Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 2:22 PM, Will Owen <exsquidwo@yahoo.com> wrote:
4. Sportswriters
Since when is Columbus a warm weather site
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CT hasn’t been the same since the Whalers left and isn’t Columbus cold?
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Little bit of NHL info for you. I don’t know if you meant to have readers assume the Nordiques are now the Coyotes, but that is not the case. The Nordiques became the Colorado Avalanche in 95-96 when Colorado won it’s first cup. The Winnipeg Jets moved on to become Phoenix.
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You want the NHL to get rid of Florida? Twice? You must really hate the Panthers….
But at least keep Columbus around; last time I checked, they weren’t really in the “sun belt” anyway…
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I did not think that Columbus is a “warm weather climate”.
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Hay, learn some grammar and spelling.
It takes away from your credibility when you can’t put a sentence together. Example, “The BBWA has the proud distinction of selecting who gets makes the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.” and “The NHL use to be great. Use to be.” For your information, it should be ‘used to be’. You’re talking in the past tense, so the form of the verb needs to be in the past tense.
I agree with the idea to move hockey teams from warm-weather cities, but news flash, Columbus is a cold place to live. The Blue Jackets strive as a hockey program there. It gives Buckeye football fans something to do in the offseason. And you mentioned you wanted the Florida Panthers gone twice. A simple proof read should have caught that.
Also, I don’t get why you hate on ESPN in No. 4 and then want them to sign you for a reality series in No. 5.
The reason they hire the sports columnists they do for Around the Horn is because it makes for TV. If you get guys on the screen who make TV love to every player and every event, no one would watch. Instead, they get people on there who are very critical of the sports world an people watch.
Additionally, your criticism of Joe Buck is weak. You dislike the man because he studied English in college? I think you need to learn English for the first time.
He is a good announcer with the epitome of an announcing voice. He and Aikman make the best duo in the NFL. Hands down. Not debatable.
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Get rid of Columbus! Then the regional sports network will start showing the Wings again.
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Bill Raftery and Gus Johnson did the Wisconsin at Purdue basketball game last Sunday druing the first football game. Thanks God for DVR. Though my Badgers couldn’t make a shot inside three feet, my pain was aleiviated a bit by the genius of those two. Music to my ears.
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This may sound a bit anal, but it bothers me that college hoops players can’t have numbers higher than “5″ on their jerseys. This is dated back to the days when it was convenient for officials to signal who committed a foul by showing both digits of the jersey on two hands to the official’s table. We’re a little more high tech now, folks… Why not let players wear #7 or # 49 on the court?
Ironically, I just the opposite beef on the pro side of football. Why the NFL is so rigid on number schemes for receivers, linebackers and DB’s is weird. Why can’t AJ Hawk wear his college #47 for the Packers vs. #50? Reggie Bush should be wearing #5… you get the point.
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Referencing your #10 Item, which states that Tom Seaver came closest to getting 100% of the Hall of Fame votes…. The only reason he didn’t receive the 100% is because of the idiots who withheld their ballots altogether because they believed Pete Rose was telling the truth and should be allowed in the Hall.
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Go suck an egg Krik. This is a sports entry not some fancy-nancy English class. Douchebag.
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And the number one most annoying thing in sports is: the NCAA. They not only out-smug Joe Buck by a long shot, they’ve been doing it a lot longer.
Those sanctimonious hypocrites never fail to advertise their role in the development of scholar-athletes, at the same time when the universities they are in bed with produce students who, in the famous Red Smith’s words “cannot read without facial contortions”.
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Agree on every point with one exception – I would substitute Chris Berman for Joe Buck. Berman is hands down the most annoying person in sports. Having to listen to this idiot almost every time I put on SportsCenter drives me completely nuts.
#6 – is by far the best one.
Oh yeah . . . @Krik – are you serious dude? A post like that lends me to believe that you have never played a sport in your life. Nobody cares about your critique – douche.
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Krik is an idiot! Read your own entry. You started it with “Hay”, as in “Hey” you are not very good at english either. Tard. The fact that you think Buck/Aikman are the best duo and its not debatable makes you a grade A+ weenie. There is not an nfl fan alive that thinks those guys can call a game. Buck always “blows” his favorites, and Aikman is master of the obvious. Two monkeys could do better. You should apply for the job.
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Why the heck isn’t Thom Brenneman on this list…effing douchbag.
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I have to agree with the Sportswriters issue. I love to watch The Sports Reporters on Sunday mornings and PTI in the afternoon, but I hate Mike Lupica, Mitch “Dumbo” Album and Bob Ryan. The guys blow hard, they think cause there all from the northeast they no more about sports than anyone else and I live in Philly. I mean seriously, how many times did any of them get picked for playground football or a pickup game at your local park. These guys only know what they read, they have no idea how games are played and what it takes to be an athlete.
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Camera shots of fans holding up the letter “D” with a short bit of picket fence. This was mildly clever in the early 70′s when some toad thought it up, but enough already. The next camera man/producer tandem that subjects us to this has their eyes filled with Tobasco sauce. If you see these jerks in the stands, you get to punch them, no questions asked.
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It seems like most of you cant read… he admits that Columbus isn’t warm weather but he thinks they should get rid of them also… i don’t agree with it myself, but all i see is, I did not think that Columbus is a “warm weather climate  well if you could read he says “(not warm weather, but seriously Columbus?)”…
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Joe Buck is forever #1 most annoying thing in sports. I have to listen to the radio during Red Sox postseason games on Fox. And yes, his talking about the Sox during the Phillies/Rays series is more of the same meaningless blather from his pie-hole. At least with Joe Morgan on ESPN games you get the unitentional comedy aspect.
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You forgot to mention the annoying look on Buck’s face while bobbing his head in that Pepsi Max commercial.
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1. There needs to be a better qualifying process for Hall of Fame voting than just members of the BBWA. I mean, what does one have to do to join that? Send in your dues? The thought that NO ONE deserves to be in the first time is nuts. If they were in the NFL, would they have not voted for Jim Brown?
2. The bowl thing is way out of hand. Guess we need to not go or watch. BUT, where is the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl when we need it? The GMAC Bowl? How can they sponsor anything with its parent out of money? Better not be with my tax dollars!
5. I am SO GLAD that Billy PAcker and his ACC favoritism is gone -(yes, they are good, but not as good as Billy makes them out to be) and, for that matter, I am actually MUCH MORE glad that Vitale is gone. I have refused (and not been able to watch a NCAA hoop
game since he came on the scene – I don’t care HOW GOOD Bobby Knight says he is (And I like Bobby). He’s a loud mouth who draws attention to himself. And Fat Boy Chris Berman has to GO! His novelty and sayings have long worn off and are SOOOO tired. And please STOP HIM FROM YELLING ALL THE TIME!
1. NO MORE JOE BUCK. It’s not his English degree, and it’s not anything else. He’s always rode on his dad’s coattails – and there haven’t been much classier gentlemen in or out of sports than JACK BUCK! It makes me want to paraphrase, “I knew Jack Buck. Jack Buck was a friend of mine. Joe, you’re no Jack Buck!”
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THANK GOD
Someone else who HATES JOE BUCK
The 2005 World Series was the worst experience of my life… and I am A WHITESOX FAN. Buck basically mad it apparent that in no way shape or form has or had any respect for that team. Every time I hear his voice calling any game… I throw up a little in my mouth… no joke
I hate this man
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OK, how about this:
1. ESPN, or as now known as the New York Yankees/Dallas Cowboys/Tim Tebow/LeBron James worship network? I remember when ESPN broadcasters did their best to stay objective but now it is getting out of hand. Dick Vitale, Chris Berman, and Stuart Scott are all on this list.
2. Those annoying Coors Light coaches commercials.
3. Hall of Fame writers for baseball (you mentioned it but it needs to be higher than 10. I hate writers who think they are bigger than the game when they don’t pick guys like Rickey Henderson)
4. preseason polls for college football
5. Notre Dame still on NBC and Charlie Weis’s arrogance
6. rookies in the NFL making more money than a multiple time Pro Bowler
7. Bud Selig
8. NHL until the playoffs
9. NFL games in Europe and Canada
10. FOX sports in general (this includes Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis loving on Tebow, Jeanne Zelasko being Jeanne Zelasko, the NFL pregame show, and yes, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver)
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good call on #1 ..
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most annoying things, Stew Scott, Steven A. Smith, Wilbon, Whitlock, Joe Morgan. I change the channel any time they are on.
black socks, sleeves on basketball players, tatoos.
TO, Plax, Chad Johson, Iverson, Ray Lewis
The BCA
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Ummm…Krik?
If you’re going to correct someone’s English proofread your own post first. Your very first word is a grass grown in the ground. I think you meant ‘Hey’.
Also, “The Blue Jackets strive as a hockey program there.” You could mean they THRIVE there. Strive just doesn’t work.
One more, “…hey get people on there who are very critical of the sports world an people watch.” AND people watch.
You’re welcome. Maybe you should learn English too.
And, if anyone learned to read in this world they would see “Columbus (not warm weather, but seriously Columbus?)”. The writer of this article took care of the warm weather debate so why is everyone bringing it up?
Take a look, it’s in a book, Reading Rainbow you morons.
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