More Annoying Lists

Because of the demand for more annoying lists,  I’d be honored to share the 2 most annoying NFL analysts/color commentators/pregame hosts.  It was pretty hard to narrow the impressive field.  This one’s for you Billy Owen.  By the way, next time you decide to point out mistakes and criticize, why don’t you make sure that you spell the damn name right when you’re attempting to correct the mistake?  His name is Bill Raftery, not Bill Rafferty.  You were truly very effective in proving your great point.

2. Shannon Sharpe

I originally had this brilliant man at #1 but changed my mind after further review.  I know that this doesn’t have anything to do with his ability as an analyst, but you can’t deny that he looks like a Clydesdale.  It’s also debateable whether Barbaro would have more intelligent things to say.

Standard example of a highlight done by Shannon: “Steve Mcnair says, I wanna pass the ball.  Todd Heap says, I’m gonna catch that pass Steve and I’m gonna score.  Referee says, Touchdown Baltimore Ravens.  Two minutes later, Andre Johnson says, I can do that too, Sage Rosenfels says I’ll pass the ball, Gary Kubiak says, I’ll take the touchdown, Touchdown Houston Texans.”

No Shannon, you’re saying that.  The players aren’t saying that, its you.  And you’re doing a terrible job while you’re saying it.

1. Football Night in America 

I didn’t know how to separate or distinguish the 7 amateurs that headline this tremendous broadcast, so I figured I’d include them as one.  And don’t worry, I’m not counting Andrea Kremer, I just couldn’t find a picture with that egomaniac Dan Patrick.

PETER KING:  Ok, we get it Peter, you have a ton of  sources and break a lot of NFL stories.  But come on, if I hear you talk about how you were “texting Brett Favre” or “talking to Adrian Peterson on the phone after the game” one more time, I’m gonna shoot my TV.  This isn’t the 9th grade dance, Peter, we’re not your girlfriends who are really impressed that you just talked to the 12th grader who’s the varsity quarterback.  Your job is to cover the NFL, which I’ll be damned, happens to involve talking to players.  Congratulations Peter, it’s the equivalent of a hooker talking to the guy she just slept with.  HD hasn’t been too kind to Mr. King either.  Crest White Strips may be needed before next season.

TIKI BARBER: Congratulations, you’re an intelligent guy.  Everyone was well aware of that throughout your whole damn career, so stop trying to use as many multi-syllabic words as possible.  And yes, I dropped that term for you Teek.  I also love your extremely awkward interviews with Giants players after a victory.  Glad to see they can’t win without you.

BOB COSTAS: Where do I start with Bob?  This ass clown belongs with the rest of those fossils who vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame.   Is he the true host?  Who the hell knows?  You can always count on him for a dynamite 2 sentence interrupted drop-in that’s neither funny nor relevant.  But hey, at least his other esteemed white old allegedly intellectual co-hosts enjoy it.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Olbermann would probably appreciate my Countdown of annoying NFL media figures.  I’m a liberal and can’t stand this bastard.  But I’m sure I’m alone in that, I mean, who doesn’t love to listen to him and Costas drool all over each other and play grab-ass with Dan Patrick for an hour every Sunday? Vegas should release a damn over-under on the number of players’ names he botches every Sunday.  I can’t even take this guy seriously anymore.  So I ask you, sir, to immediately resign.

CRIS COLLINSWORTH: I dunno if I’m spelling his name right or not, but I frankly don’t care.  This guy looks like an ostrich and has the loud raspy voice of a 30-year smoker.  You gotta love him in “The Players Room,” holding it down w/ Teek and Bus.  Everyone knows Collinsworth played for the Bengals, and he feels the need to make the same repetitive attempt at a joke when talking about how bad they are every week.  Yes Cris, we know.

JEROME BETTIS: I don’t really have a bone to pick with Bettis, but it’s guilt by association.

DAN PATRICK:  I almost forgot about this headliner.  What the hell happened since he left ESPN?  Everytime I see him on TV he looks like a wax museum figure.  The return of “The Big Show” with Olbermann has turned into an hour of these two over-the-hill sportscasters giggling and swapping inside jokes that probably aren’t funny anyway.  You can’t stop Dan Patrick, you can only hope he stops working soon.

In Announcers, Blog, Comedy, ESPN, Internet, Media, Radio, TV Jan 15th, 2009 | 2 Comments |

Comments

2 Responses to “More Annoying Lists”

  1. Daily Dump: 32 Reasons To Watch Friday Night Lights, Ashley Madison Will Not Advertise During Super Bowl, David Feherty Chats, Nastia Liukin Magazine Spread, 55 Knock You On Your Ass Beers And Kendra Wilkinson Trash Talks Hef - Crapazon on January 16th, 2009 5:22 am

    [...] 2 most annoying football broadcasters [This Is God Given] [...]

  2. Friday Morning Time Wasters: Kevin Youkilis Gets a Long Term Deal | Quite to the Contrary on January 16th, 2009 7:19 am

    [...] most annoying football announcers. (This is God [...]

Got something to say?