It has long been said that men are some of the easiest creatures on the planet to satisfy. Food, sports and sex – the hetero man’s three life principles, right? Well, if it were true for all men, every single woman out there would be able to find a guy.

In fact, what men want is usually the exact opposite of the stereotypes given to them. The old Greek woman summed it up rather well with their saying, paraphrased, “Men want a lamb in their kitchen but a lion in their bedrooms.”

It’s certainly not complicated, but it does take some effort on a woman’s part to know what men want out of a relationship and out of a prospective partner.

For starters, men initially work on sight and pure animal attraction. As a woman, you should work to show off your best features in a way that is appealing to a man. You don’t necessarily have be stripperish about it but, like the saying goes, accentuate the positive.

Use your nature-given gifts to entice a man’s attentions. From there, you have a solid platform to work from in order to keep those attentions.

Becoming relationship material instead of arm candy is another topic unto itself. Men are territorial by nature, and this comes across as uberjealous at times. But it’s not that – it’s just that men want to know they’re important to you and that you’re not planning on giving up the goods elsewhere.

Work on keeping his attention positive by making sure you spend the necessary time letting him know how much you care. You’ll certainly be his queen if you show him that he’s your only king.

There’s also the subject of being interesting to him. Women perceived to be floosies and dullards, while they might score a lot of men, are certainly not respected and not the types of girls they’re bringing home to meet their mothers. Women who carry themselves well, exude confidence and are goal-oriented can really stimulate a man intellectually and attract him to much more than your body.

At the end of the day, men what out of a relationship what most everyone wants – love, stability and a sense of security. All other factors are just a lead-up until that time arrives when hearts merge and a true relationship is formed.

The most important thing a woman can do to land a good relationship with a man is to truly want the man more than the relationship. Nature will handle the rest.

Datingsites.org is the Internet’s premier dating site.

The government provides a few monetary solutions to military men and women, including a decent salary, healthcare and education options. However, that same government has also attempted to close the door to military personnel via payday loans.

A payday loan is a short-term loan offered to anyone meeting slim criteria, which could be a car title or simply having a job. These loans are for relatively low amounts, usually $100 on the low end and $1,000 on the high end. And due to the risk assumed by the lender, the interest is rather high and the repayment amount is usually steeper than long-term loans to scale.

These loans help out people from all walks of life when they’re in a pinch and need emergency funding. Due to the FY 2007 Military Authorization Act, though, members of the military are ineligible to receive military payday loans.

Technically, lenders are forbidden to grant loans to military members that require car titles as collateral, charge 36% interest or higher, or have any sort of service charges, renewal charges or other associated fees.

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However, some payday lenders have worked to set up sites specifically for men and women of the military. Knowing that military members are certainly deserving of financial relief, lenders have tweaked their specifications to skirt the shackles of the 2007 Act.

Loans taken from these specific lenders will have lower interest rates, will not require a car title and will not impose renewal fees or other such charges. Any military member over 18 and with a checking account can receive a military payday loan.

We all hope these brave men and women never fall into financial worry, but it’s good to know that some lenders out there are showing more heart than business savvy when dealing with members of the military.

Online Poker: The Beginning

Without the Internet, of course, there could be no online poker. In the early days of the Internet, real time communication was a challenge. The Internet was mostly used to transmit large packets of information from one computer to another. Jarkko Oikarinen, an Internet visionary, saw a different use. He created IRC, or Internet Relay Chat, in 1988. IRC was the first instant messaging system. As soon as two people could communicate effectively online, poker players saw the applications for their favorite game, and IRC poker began. There were no graphics and no real money was exchanged, but IRC poker was the predecessor of something big.

Online Poker: The Sites

In 1998, the company Planet Poker introduced the first truly effective online poker software, complete with graphics and the ability for people to play real poker against each other in real time. Planet Poker took a risk, but one that paid off. Online poker took off fast, although at the time traffic was limited to an elite group of people who enjoyed gambling or cards and who were Internet savvy. Still, it was enough to keep Planet Poker going, and to inspire new poker sites like Paradise Poker and Pacific Poker.

Online Poker: The Current Era

Companies like PartyPoker, PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker took online poker to a new level. PartyPoker did it through a heavy advertising campaign using their spokesman Mike Sexton and the World Poker Tour, also offering a chance to win a seat on a poker tournament cruise, the PartyPoker Million. Full Tilt Poker did it by hiring as many name pros to play on their site as they could get. PokerStars did it by offering more tournaments and more satellites than ever before. When one of those satellite winners, Chris Moneymaker, won the World Series of Poker main event, online poker reached heights no one could have anticipated, and though its growth was slowed a bit by American anti-online gaming legislation in 2006, it is still a huge industry today.

7 AM: Roll over in bed and say to my wife, “You’ve gotta ask yourself one question, do you know what it’s like to play in the National Football League?”

7:01 AM: My wife responds by kicking me in the groin after realizing that I pissed in the bed again. Yet another flashback to my playing days.

7:15 AM: Roll out of bed and limp to the bathroom. Wingo and I have NFL Live today, and I’ve gotta study my lines before we go on-air. Absolutely no question we’re talking about the National Football League.

7:30 AM: Call my son and ask him how his “goat” is growing in. He seems drunk and pissed off and asks me why the hell I’m calling him when its 5:30 AM in Arizona on a Friday morning. I respond by saying “You’ve gotta ask yourself one question when you’re talking about the National Football League,” and hang up.

10:00 AM: I arrive at the ESPN campus after getting lost again. I see my boy Wingo sittin’ in the studio reading over some stats and news from the night before. I tell him that I’ve been studying my lines and am ready for the show. He proceeds to inform me that I had been reading my 3-sentence part for my monthly appearance on Guiding Light. Shit.

10:02 AM: Wingo asks me how I’m doing.

1:14 PM: After thinking about it, I respond, “Absolutely no question about the National Football League, I’m talking about the National Football League, no question.”

2:03 PM: I just finished my lunch: 4 EAS bars and some Bengay for my knees.  You’ve gotta absolutely ask yourself the question, “hey stink was all the pain and suffering worth it?”

2:08 PM: As far as I’m concerned the National Football League and blitz packages are absolutely worth more than my family.  No question, now you ask yourself.

2:39 PM: My phone rings. . . It’s Sears.  The Suits on the other end want me to promote a new ultimate football experience.  I tell them that the true ultimate football experience is absolutely no question in the trenches of the National Football League where the true tough guys play.  John Elway, I played with him.  Brett Favre no question, leadership, football, national, ask yourself.”

3:45 PM: I’ve just changed into my new brown and white pinstripe suit. We’re talkin about Perry Ellis, National Football League, Super Bowl.

3:58: We’re just about to go on the air when I get a call from the Suits at the Life Time Network .  They’re coming over this weekend to film more of my family’s upcoming reality show.  We’re talkin about. Stink Schlereth. on a channel. designed for women.  Absolutely, from a football and physical man standpoint, you’ve gotta ask yourself if you’re humbled by the honor, no question I asked myself, talkin about absolutely.

4:00 PM: Me and Trey go on the air. I make sure to relate any NFL story to the fact that I played with John Elway.

4:17 PM: I stop the show to mention that I played with John Elway once again and ask the entire viewing audience, “When you step in that National Footbal League locker room and put that jersey on, you’re representing the National Football League. Absolutely, no question, you’ve gotta ask yourself if you’re that football team.”

4:18 PM: Wingo asks me what the hell I’m talking about.

4:21 PM: Let me tell you what, you know what,Usain Bolt, no question football absolutely i know fast guys, send them  in no question.  We’re talkin about physical, line up and hit you in the mouth physicality football, on and off the field no question they’re a physical football team.

4:23 PM: I walk over to the EA Sports Virtual Field and can’t find any of the players I see when I’m watching on TV. Absolutely, no question, I’ve gotta ask myself where the players are.

4:30 PM: I spent 7 minutes on the virtual field  analyzing the 6 yard quick-out pattern yard by yard and stressing the importance of getting the National Football League football into the wide receiver’s hands who is wearing National Football League sponsored gloves. Lastly, I divulged some information that most analysts do not even know… absolutely no question that football is a ’physical-contact-line-up-and-hit-you-in-the-mouth-blitz-package-offensive-scheme type of game.’  Ne absolutely no question that the show’s over.

5:00 PM: I start my trip home after mapquesting my address. Those head slaps must’ve gotten the best of me during my career. By the way, I played with Elway and the Denver Broncos.

5:15 PM: My Red Dodge Ram breaks down on the side of the interstate, apparently the gas gauge wasn’t broken.

5:16 PM: I call my fellow Alaskan Governor Palin for some advice. We’re both from Alaska, but I wasn’t lucky enough to be blessed with her intelligence. Absolutely no question she could’ve been an O-Coordinator in the National Football League. You’ve gotta ask yourself that question when you’re talking about a football team.

7:00 PM: The tow truck arrives. The spare time gave me a chance to study my 3 Guiding Light sentences.

7:45 PM: I finally get home. It’s been a long day.

7:47 PM: Dive into my 8^th EAS MyoPlex Bar. Absolutely no question Now I’m done.

8: 00 PM: I fall asleep watching clips of Super Bowl XXXII. Absolutely no question that Elway looked great.

Five minutes after this picture, Tomlin was seen carrying 50 equipment bags to a pick-up truck on the runway.  Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden were ridin and packin shotgun.  Pedro Gomez was at the scene and reported that it might’ve been The Cream and The Clear.

“Don’t rub, blot it! You blot that shit!”

2. Shannon Sharpe

I originally had this brilliant man at #1 but changed my mind after further review.  I know that this doesn’t have anything to do with his ability as an analyst, but you can’t deny that he looks like a Clydesdale.  It’s also debateable whether Barbaro would have more intelligent things to say.

Standard example of a highlight done by Shannon: “Steve Mcnair says, I wanna pass the ball.  Todd Heap says, I’m gonna catch that pass Steve and I’m gonna score.  Referee says, Touchdown Baltimore Ravens.  Two minutes later, Andre Johnson says, I can do that too, Sage Rosenfels says I’ll pass the ball, Gary Kubiak says, I’ll take the touchdown, Touchdown Houston Texans.”

No Shannon, you’re saying that.  The players aren’t saying that, its you.  And you’re doing a terrible job while you’re saying it.

1. Football Night in America 

I didn’t know how to separate or distinguish the 7 amateurs that headline this tremendous broadcast, so I figured I’d include them as one.  And don’t worry, I’m not counting Andrea Kremer, I just couldn’t find a picture with that egomaniac Dan Patrick.

PETER KING:  Ok, we get it Peter, you have a ton of  sources and break a lot of NFL stories.  But come on, if I hear you talk about how you were “texting Brett Favre” or “talking to Adrian Peterson on the phone after the game” one more time, I’m gonna shoot my TV.  This isn’t the 9th grade dance, Peter, we’re not your girlfriends who are really impressed that you just talked to the 12th grader who’s the varsity quarterback.  Your job is to cover the NFL, which I’ll be damned, happens to involve talking to players.  Congratulations Peter, it’s the equivalent of a hooker talking to the guy she just slept with.  HD hasn’t been too kind to Mr. King either.  Crest White Strips may be needed before next season.

TIKI BARBER: Congratulations, you’re an intelligent guy.  Everyone was well aware of that throughout your whole damn career, so stop trying to use as many multi-syllabic words as possible.  And yes, I dropped that term for you Teek.  I also love your extremely awkward interviews with Giants players after a victory.  Glad to see they can’t win without you.

BOB COSTAS: Where do I start with Bob?  This ass clown belongs with the rest of those fossils who vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame.   Is he the true host?  Who the hell knows?  You can always count on him for a dynamite 2 sentence interrupted drop-in that’s neither funny nor relevant.  But hey, at least his other esteemed white old allegedly intellectual co-hosts enjoy it.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Olbermann would probably appreciate my Countdown of annoying NFL media figures.  I’m a liberal and can’t stand this bastard.  But I’m sure I’m alone in that, I mean, who doesn’t love to listen to him and Costas drool all over each other and play grab-ass with Dan Patrick for an hour every Sunday? Vegas should release a damn over-under on the number of players’ names he botches every Sunday.  I can’t even take this guy seriously anymore.  So I ask you, sir, to immediately resign.

CRIS COLLINSWORTH: I dunno if I’m spelling his name right or not, but I frankly don’t care.  This guy looks like an ostrich and has the loud raspy voice of a 30-year smoker.  You gotta love him in “The Players Room,” holding it down w/ Teek and Bus.  Everyone knows Collinsworth played for the Bengals, and he feels the need to make the same repetitive attempt at a joke when talking about how bad they are every week.  Yes Cris, we know.

JEROME BETTIS: I don’t really have a bone to pick with Bettis, but it’s guilt by association.

DAN PATRICK:  I almost forgot about this headliner.  What the hell happened since he left ESPN?  Everytime I see him on TV he looks like a wax museum figure.  The return of “The Big Show” with Olbermann has turned into an hour of these two over-the-hill sportscasters giggling and swapping inside jokes that probably aren’t funny anyway.  You can’t stop Dan Patrick, you can only hope he stops working soon.

Now i’m gonna have to give my opinion on Singletary b/c he’s been pissing off and annoying me ever since he’s taken over in San Francisco.   Can somebody tell him that it’s not the ’70′s and ’80′s anymore?  He’s proving that the game has passed him by, but he is convinced that being such a hard ass can win games.  Personally, i was hoping Vernon Davis would’ve mooned him after catching that TD pass last night, or slugged him in the face after taking off his helmet.

Singletary proved how much of an idiot he is by calling 2 running plays from outside of the 2 yd line in the last 20 seconds of the 4th quarter.  But hey, he likes “smashmouth” football, which is very impressive, almost as impressive as the FULLBACK DIVE to michael robinson.  Mike Martz clearly had nothing to do with that playcall, which i was happy about because I hope everyone who was watching the game got to see how much of an asshole Singletary is.

He made a ton of money as a motivational speaker after he quit playing, which also confuses me b/c I think he’s a complete joke.  It took him forever to finally get a head coaching job, and maybe it was just b/c he’s a complete idiot.  I hope he loses every damn game he coaches.

and i quote tomlin from his single . . .

M.T. . . I got flavor
Cuz you know the kid got paper
Street thug but I can be tailored
Every now and then i might rock gators
i’m the man and I know that
I got cash i’m talkin throw back
100 grand what’s that
I hit the club and I blow that
all these hoes know that
Im picture perfect made for Kodak

I’d like to introduce myself to all of the disciples, I’m the MESSIAH, and i’ll be your holy ghost from here on out . . .

So I’m livin here in Cleveland while I’m going to law school, and the crap I read and see about Ohio State and the Cleveland Browns makes me absolutely sick. There was an article in the Plain-Dealer yesterday, suggesting that Tressel intentionally had his team play terribly last week to “set up” USC.  I didn’t mind Ohio State before, but now I hope they lose by 40.  To make matters worse, the article cited Terry Bowden, that’s right, Terry Bowden, as the expert on these matters.  There’s a reason that grits-eating Bayou rat has been out of coaching for the last decade, and that’s because he is dumber than Vince Young taking the WonderLIc.  I gotta go now, but i’ll be back in a little bit to address the Browns.

Peace Be with you

And also with you