This film by Todd Phillips, the guy who brought you Old School and Road Trip, comes the next great buddy comedy called The Hangover. I’m just glad Tyson was in it so I had the smallest bit of reason to post this.
The Ten Most Annoying Things In Sports
Jan. 14, 2009 28 Comments
With Monday’s announcement of the Baseball Hall of Fame Class of 2009, it has prompted me to look at some of the more annoying things in sports.
10. Baseball Writers’ Association of America (BBWA)
The BBWA has the proud distinction of selecting who makes the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, arguably the most exclusive of all of the hall of fame’s in America. Unfortunately, the BBWA is filled with clowns who follow some ass backwards rules- namely that some of them refuse to vote for guys on the ballot the first time. The requirements for the hall states that 75% of voters must vote for a player….in the history of Major League Baseball no man has ever received 100% of the votes (Tom Seaver came the closest with 98.84%). Babe Ruth even missed out on 11 votes!
9. The NHL in Warm Weather Climates
The NHL use to be great. Use to be. Until it decided to expand to places where hockey was a foreign word. Until the NHL gets rid of Atlanta, Columbus (not warm weather, but seriously Columbus?), Tampa Bay, Florida, Phoenix, and two of the California teams, I will not care. There should be a rule that says if you can’t get a ski rental and go skiing in your town (or nearby), you should not have a hockey team. Unless it brings back the Whalers or the Nordiques, the two teams with the best unis in the sport.
Classy...
8. College Bowl Games
What do the San Diego County Credit Union, Papajohns.com, Roady’s, and Gaylord Hotels all have in common? They all sponsored bowl games, of which there are now 34 of, meaning 68 teams get to play in the college postseason (56.6% of teams in FBS). Meanwhile, 97 teams out of 347 (27%) go to the basketball postseason in some form in college basketball (NIT included). Bowl games used to mean something….now they mean a potential trip to Boise or Shreveport.
We're going to Idaho!
7. The Heavyweight Champion(s)
It would be great to see boxing make a return to the limelight. Especially the heavyweight division. But with currently 4 different men being recognized as the heavyweight champ by 5 different organizations, this isn’t going to happen anytime soon.
In the meantime, four men on the Medifast diet and exercise regimens can continue training.
6. Erin Andrews Lack of Naked Pictures
How this has not happened yet is beyond me. If this ever does come to happen, I’m convinced the Internet will blow up.
Something special
Erin Andrews is definitely a woman who has never needed a liquid diet or Medifast coupon in her life.
5. Bill Raftery does not Call the Final Four
Good news: Bill Packer is out. Bad news: the most entertaining man in college basketball probably still won’t get the chance to call the Final Four and yell “Onions!” every time Mario Chalmers hits a 3 in the final seconds…
Side note: Imagine Gus Johnson alongside Bill calling anything…the could make the World Scrabble Championships must viewing…some one take this idea to ESPN before they give Jim Rome more air time….
4. Sportswriters
I thank the Internet and ESPN for killing the world of sportswriting. Granted there are some very good ones still out there- Mike Wilbon and Rick Reilly- but there are also the likes of Jim Rome, every member of Around the Horn, Scoop Jackson and whoever else ESPN deems to be loud, obnoxious, idiotic and perfect to put on television. Most of these guys are nothing more than wannabe jocks who are still pissed about being cut from the basketball team in tenth grade. But unlike MJ, it didn’t drive them to be better athletes, rather it just made them want to sit on the sidelines and thrown stones. Grantland Rice must roll in his grave everytime Jay Mariotti talks…
3. No Sports Team in Las Vegas
Las Vegas is one of the greatest places on Earth. It is adult Disneyland. When guys win the Super Bowl they should say “I’m going to the Spearmint Rhino!” instead of the damn Disneyland line. Can you imagine a sports team in Vegas…mainly an NBA team. They would easily go 38-3 at home every year, cause every other team would be so hungover/still drunk from the previous night. Even better idea: make the Vegas team all rookies for it’s expansion year. They would win maybe 5 games all year, but the TV show that would follow the team could make for great entertianment. Get me ESPN on the phone cause I smell an Emmy for Best Reality TV Show…
Where real celebrations take place...
2. 8 PM games that start closer to 8:30
If you live on the West Coast this is probably not that big of a problem, but where the majority of the country lives, this is something that is getting out of hand. Monday Night Football starts close to 9:20 PM now and does not end until midnight. The World Series, NBA Finals and Stanley Cup are all decided between 11 and 12 at night. The biggest college football game of the week is the Saturday Night game…if I’ve been drinking all day at my normal pace I’m passed out by the second quarter. Maybe it is just getting older, but these late games suck.
1. Joe Buck
Randy Moss’ “disgusting act.” His smugness. His glasses. The fact that he called games for the Cardinals. He got his B.A. in English (alright I’m reaching for reasons to not like the guy, but honestly, nobody likes him so who cares). The fact that some of the biggest games in my lifetime I’ve had to suffer through him calling them (D-Backs/Yankees Series; McGwire’s 62nd HR; the Red Sox winning the World Series) . And his calling of this year’s World Series, where my hometown Phillies ended Billy Penn’s Curse, and all the jackass could talk about the whole series was the amazing season of the Rays and for some reason the Red Sox, who were home watching the series. I admit, I just don’t like the jerkface, hence he takes this spot.
Grade A Weenie...
Here is a response to one e-mail we received in response to this post:
Dear Will,
First off I would like to thank you for the opinion and the grammar tips because they will be extremely helpful in the future. As you can see throughout your journey through the serenity of This is God Given, we make very little attempt to do legitimate sportswriting. I am basically just looking for you to smirk or chuckle to yourself as I use some terribly unwitty metaphor in describing a certain development in the sports world. I am ecstatic that you see me as annoying and encourages me to continue with my unholy antics. In summation, is that correct structure? Anyway, go read some Anne Coulter and deep throat yourself, hardass.
Sincerely,
This is God Given
On Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 2:22 PM, Will Owen <exsquidwo@yahoo.com> wrote:
4. Sportswriters
I thank the Internet and ESPN for killing the world of sportswriting. Granted there are some very good ones still out there- Mike Wilbon and Rick Reilly- but there are also the likes of Jim Rome, every member of Around the Horn, Scoop Jackson and whoever else ESPN deems to be loud, obnoxious, idiotic and perfect to put on television. Most of these guys are nothing more than wannabe jocks who are still pissed about being cut from the basketball team in tenth grade. But unlike MJ, it didn’t drive them to be better athletes, rather it just made them want to sit on the sidelines and thrown stones. Grantland Rice must roll in his grave everytime Jay Mariotti talks…
I know it must be lost on you, but think about what is annoying in the world of sports you……….YOU! (Who gives a rat’s ass what you find annoying anyway?)
Also, do a better job of editing. Joe Buck does not call games for the “Cadinals” and you spell Bill Rafferty with two “L”s.
Rumble I, Max, Rumble
April 29, 2008 Leave a Comment
Yes, I am speaking of the object of everyone’s disgust, Max Kellerman. He was the first host of Around the Horn and ditched that show to create the worst program conceivable. I must admit that I give him credit for taking the Disembodied Voice with him to Fox, but they should have kept that persona. The main mistake the program I, Max made was giving Michael Holley a regular gig, the nose ring should have been the first clue. I do have some respect for Kellerman however, solely based on a knowledge of boxing that few possess.
Now, it’s time for you to gain a little more respect for Max. Apparently back in 1994, Kellerman and his late brother Sam had a rap group that put out a single that has been going around the internet. It really isn’t that bad for early ’90s rap, there are some corny moments including the video of Muhammed Ali at the beginning, but overall I am kind of impressed. What I’m not impressed by is his resemblance to Edward Norton from American History X, while using Snoop’s body language when he raps.
Money Mayweather Debut
Jan. 7, 2008 Leave a Comment
For the most part it is true to say that when athletes try to break into the music industry it is a complete disaster, however this is not the case when it comes to boxers. The obvious reference I am making is to the song “Y’all Musta Forgot” by Roy Jones Jr. which he dropped a few years back. Now with the emergence of Floyd Mayweather as the face of boxing, he has thrown his hat into the hip hop field with his new single “Money Mayweather.” Why is it that boxers have produced the best music of any professional athletes? Is it that they train harder or that they have more time off? Personally, I think it has to do with the constant blows to head. Something just gets knocked loose and prevents them from churning out albums like Kobe or Shaq, or going way over the top like AI did in 2004 with 40 Bars. I wish Money Mayweather well in this new venture and by the looks of this first video, I expect great things.
More Than Money for Mayweather
Dec. 24, 2007 Leave a Comment
Last week ESPN reported that Floyd Mayweather, following his fight with Ricky Hatton, was discussing a possible jump to MMA fighting. It was reported that Mayweather formed a friendship with Mark Cuban while on the Dancing with the Stars program and Cuban showed an interest in bringing the fighter over to his HDNets Fights.
Personally, I’m hoping that this does not happen not only because I think he will lose credibility, but this loss in credibility will hurt boxing as a
whole. Money Mayweather needs to step up and fight the next logical contender, Miguel Cotto and win the final belt to make him the undisputed champion. Mayweather has balked at the possible fight against the WBA title holder due to a dispute with Cotto and Mayweather’s former promoter Bob Arum. Arum has been quoted by the Arizona Republic as saying, “He’s afraid to lose.†He later said, “He’ll say he won’t fight Cotto because of me, because of Bob Arum. But that’s not it. He doesn’t want to take a chance. He’ll never fight Cotto. Never, ever.â€
I just want to see this fight happen purely for HBO’s 24/7 shows that aired prior to both the De La Hoya and Hatton fights. I know no one can wait to see Floyd counting stacks of money on his kitchen table once again(go to 7:47 of this video) before some awkward discussion of his relationship with his Dad. So, Mayweather and Arum, let’s make this happen. And soon while I can afford to keep getting HBO.
