This is God Given » College

The Most Obvious Mock Draft Pick Of All-Time

The Second Coming — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:54:58 +0000

This comes from Chad Ford’s latest mock draft and had to be the easiest speculation that he has ever made. Here is the rundown of how the Utah Jazz fill their roster.

1. Look for whitest American (ex. Matt Harpring)

2. Find white Foreigner (ex. Mehmet Okur, AK47)

3. Find black guy who went to a good school (ex. Brevin Knight, Carlos Boozer)

4. Look for best players (ex. Deron Williams)

I also think it’s hilarious how Ford tries to gloss over these facts in his “analysis”

The Other Side Of College Sports

The Second Coming — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:44:33 +0000

This comes from Collegehumor and is classic.

Sports are much different in college than they were in high school. In high school sports were all about school spirit, competition, and winning. In college sports are about trying to impress other people and having something to talk about to strangers at parties. This is why you must be very careful about which sports you play on the weekends. Here is what you are saying when you pick your sport in college.

Ultimate Frisbee

Soccer

Football (if played in high school)

Football (if didn’t play in high school)

Table Tennis

Lacrosse

Golf

Yachting

Rugby

Unicycle

The Michael Phelps Theme Song, Too Bad He Never Actually Went

The Second Coming — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:37:25 +0000

Hopefully, he competes in 2012 and walks up to the pool playing this song. And then get caught with a bong again after he wins a few golds. He could be Van Wilder, but never spend one day in class and possibly continue to have a life that people dream about. (other than having to wear speedos)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

College Coaches: Instant Fixes and Duds

The One and Only — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:47:17 +0000

With the Inauguration of President Obama and the instant fix to the economy, unemployment, Middle East conflict, and War on Terror that comes with his presidency, we have decided to take a look at college coaches at major programs and the instant results that were supposed to come with their hirings.

Notre Dame Football- Charlie Weis

Charlie Weis’ hiring was supposed to bring forth national championships, Heisman Trophy winners, big time recruits and major bowl wins.Â Four season in and there has been no national titles, one top 5 finish in Heisman voting (Brady Quinn), two blowout BCS bowl losses, and one Hawaii Bowl victory.Â The recruiting has been a different story, as loads of 5 Stars have flocked to South Bend.Â Turning them into winners is the name of the game though, and 10 wins in the lastÂ two seasons is just not cutting it.

The Verdict: Change we can not yet believe in

I said biggie size dammit!

Kentucky Basketball- Billy Gillipsie

Billy Gillipsie, the guy responsible for turning two programs a year removed from dreadfulness into postseason participants (UTEP and Texas A&M), was brought to Kentucky to replace a National Champion winning coach (Tubby Smith).Â His tilt at UK got off to a rocky start, getting blown out at home to Gardner-Webb in the team’s second game of the season.Â His team rebounded though and finished his first season 18-13, including 12-4 in the SEC and a co-SEC Coach of the Year Award, as well as a trip to the tournament to top it off.Â His sophomore season has been more successful, with the Wildcats currently 14-4, and his recruiting has made waves, even signing an 8th grader.

The Verdict: Yes, he possibly can

Michigan Football- Rich Rodriguez

Rich Rodriguez left the comfort of his native West Virginia to take over a program that was in need of fine tuning after Lloyd Carr retired.Â His spread option attack, which fueled WVU to within one game of a national title game birth, proved highly unsuccessful in his first year at the helm in Ann Arbor.Â Michigan went 3-9, the worst record in school history,Â the first losing record in 41 years, andÂ scores of players left the program, including Sam McGuffie, one of the few bright spots on the team.Â Rich Rod even went as far as criticizing the Maize and Blue fans after losing to Ohio State, saying that the fans needed to get a life.

The Verdict: The Audacity of Nope

Not quite what I would call a thumbs up season RichRod...

Alabama Football- Nick Saban

Nick Saban took over after Mike Shula and did not see immediate success, even going so far as losingÂ to Louisiana-Monroe in his first year.Â His second season saw the Tide go 12-0 and rise to #1, only to lose to eventual national champs Florida in the SEC Championship game and undefeated Utah in the Sugar Bowl.Â Seeing how the team was supposed to be a year away this season, the future looks bright in Tuscaloosa.

The Verdict: Change Has Come to Alabama

UCLA Basketball- Ben Howland

Three Final FoursÂ in five seasons, which saw his teams win at least 30 games in each of those three seasons.Â His teams play defenseÂ better than just about every team in the country.Â And his recruiting is pretty darn good too.Â Yeah, Ben Howland has done alright out there in LA.

The Verdict: A More Perfect UCLA

I sure am goofy looking, but I could coach blind kids to the Final Four

North Carolina Basketball- Roy Williams

At the beginning of this season, there was talk about UNC going undefeated.Â Of course that will not happen since the Heels have dropped two games, but if you think this team loses more than 5 games all year you must be crazy.Â Roy Williams has turned around a program that was struggling, winning a national title and taking last year’s team to the Final Four only to lose to his former school (Kansas) in the semis.Â Don’t be surprised if this team makes it back to the Final Four….and looking at next year’s recruiting class, UNC may make the Final Four an annual ritual.

The Verdict: Change UNC can believe in

Florida Football- Urban Meyer

When the Gators gave the Zooker the boot, they turned to a young guy who had just lead Utah to an undefeated season.Â Good choice.Â In 4 seasons the results are uncanny.Â A record of 45-9, including 26-8 in the SEC.Â Two national championships.Â Tebow won a Heisman and saved poor kids (and saved the souls of prisoners and cured cancer and taught the Dali Lama peace).Â And the team will be just as good next year.Â And probably the year after that.Â Yeah, it’s good to be a Gator.

The Verdict: Yes He Did!

Clearly a Floridian mating call to attract Erin Andrews

Mr. Pittsnogle Molding Minds In West Virginia

The Second Coming — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 17:48:41 +0000

Here’s a story from the Dagger detailing the current life of the biggest scrub in the history of college basketball. Kevin Pittsnogle came out of nowhere and baffled all sports fans with his deep range and slow feet. From the day you broke onto the scene, it was easy to tell that he epitomized all that was West Virginia. He had what every man in West Virginia dreams about, an early marriage, kids and uncertain future. He did actually go to college though so I have give him some cred. The last I heard about Pittsnogle was that he was playing for the Pittsburgh Xplosion of the CBA and to tell you the truth, that team name is the gayest thing to come out of Pittsburgh since Andy Warhol.Anyway, the Dagger reported that Big Pitts is teaching middle school and is working as an assistant coach in his hometown. Oh yeah, he’s up to 300 pounds and is living in a trailer as well. They need to send the My Name is Earl writers down there right now to get some new story ideas. To tell you the truth, it’s a travesty because this wedding picture just screamed potential.

Sunday Dumb Day 1/18

The Second Coming — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:01:50 +0000

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Beyonce in Goldmember on TBS, here is this weekâ€™s wrap-up.

PSAMP – LaMarr Woodley Is A Douchebag?

Cuzgoogle – Forget Mickey Rourke, Joey Graham Is “The Wrestler”

Sports Rubbish – I Love The BCS Song

Sports by Brooks – Yes, Erin Andrews Has A Sister Named Kendra & Dan Patrick Got To Hang With Both At BCS

Sons of Steve Garvey – Mets’ Pizza Patch The Laughingstock Of Baseball Uniform World

NESW – Kobe Bryant Sells Ankle Insurance

Busted Coverage – Say Hello To Your New 2009 USC Song Girls

Coed – The 2009 SI Swimsuit Issue Cover Model Short List Is Revealed!

Hugging Harold Reynolds – Cooley’s Back Side

The World of Isaac – The 10 Best Sports Movie Coaches

BMaze-ing Puts On

The Second Coming — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:07:57 +0000

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Three Strikes and Out was onto Bobby Maze back in May, but I hadn’t heard or seen his skills until now. Just watching BMaze on the court you think AI and it seems that he has the same aspirations. After leaving Oklahoma at the request of the team, Maze ended up at Tennessee with Bruce Pearl and Tyler Smith’s well-cropped eyebrows. Maze doesn’t even shy away from the AI comparison by calling himself “the solution” at the beginning of this freestyle. Yes, I said freestyle and he is definitely no AI when it comes to spitting. This is apparent with Allen’s line, “cheese in my pocket, pulling out on these bitches like Tubbs and Crockett.” To tell you the truth, there is just one thing missing from BMaze’s video and that is a Bruce Pearl cameo, that has to be the next step in his recruiting barrage. Now I finally have something to look forward to when it comes to the future of the NBA. Forget Dwight Howard and D Wade. I want BMaze bankrolled and with an album produced by TruWarier and the genius that is Mr. Artest. I can’t believe ESPN came out with that NEXT issue and forgot to include this talent. The leader must be getting ahead of themselves.

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Sunday Dumb Day 12/14

The Second Coming — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:00:59 +0000

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Lacey Underall in Caddyshack on ESPN2, here is this weekâ€™s wrap-up.

Fanhouse – Tiger Woods’ Caddie Tells Stories Of Phil Mickelson’s Man Boobs

Cuzgoogle – Now Playing: Forgetting Sam Mitchell

PSAMP – Rick Tocchet Is, And Never Was, Smart

Moondog – Why I Hate Marko Jaric

Tailgating Ideas – Layla Kiffin Looks Like A Porn Star

Hugging Harold Reynolds – Q-Tip to Leitch: Yo, What The Scenario

Awful Announcing – Wilbon: “Threesomes Keep It Interesting”

FanDome – Barry Sanders Has A Son…

Busted Coverage – Cuff ‘Em: Top 20 Sports Related Arrests of 2008

Who Does Tyler Hansbrough Think He Is?

The Second Coming — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:51:57 +0000

In looking for a picture of that hideous suit that Tyler Hansbrough was wearing last night, I came across this post by The Dagger. They made a great observation that the reigning player of the year resembles a Biloxi Pit Boss. I would have to agree with that, but I would definitely have to say that he more closely looks like an 8th grader attending his first boy-girl dance. His haircut would obviously go with that theme, I bet he pulls out the Old Navy tech vest next. I seriously think Tyler still dances the way he did at that first dance.

When Sports Meet Gay Robot

The Second Coming — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:09:09 +0000

Here is gay robot and he has a certain “taste” for athletes. I have a feeling this is what it was like walking around the lockerroom with John Amaechi.

NEW – Gay Robot – DELETED SCENE!!