Joe Pa Sounds Constipated

Oct. 27, 2008   Leave a Comment  

I saw this commercial a while ago when I was up in State College for a game and couldn’t find it online anywhere. This ad features the coaches of the Big Ten giving their recruitment pitches, but one coach seems to stand out above the rest and this is the same man whose team stands atop the conference. After watching the ad though, it seems like Joe Pa needs to get his colon looked at or something.

Travis Henry Wants To Star In Blow 2

Oct. 1, 2008   1 Comment  

The news just broke that some guy was stopped in Montana with 6 pounds of marijuana and 3 kilos of cocaine. This man divulged that Travis Henry was behind the transaction and the Tennessee product was arresting for intent to distribute, there was a little over $63,000 in the car. It’s just a good thing that Henry took that suspension for a 3rd positive weed test so seriously. Also, it’s probably better that he will be spending time in the clink, away from his 9 illegitimate kids. They weren’t getting their child support anyway.

The Second Coming's Birthday

Sept. 12, 2008   1 Comment  

Happy Birthday, you old bastard. . .

I’d like to introduce myself to all of the disciples, I’m the MESSIAH, and i’ll be your holy ghost from here on out . . .

So I’m livin here in Cleveland while I’m going to law school, and the crap I read and see about Ohio State and the Cleveland Browns makes me absolutely sick. There was an article in the Plain-Dealer yesterday, suggesting that Tressel intentionally had his team play terribly last week to “set up” USC.  I didn’t mind Ohio State before, but now I hope they lose by 40.  To make matters worse, the article cited Terry Bowden, that’s right, Terry Bowden, as the expert on these matters.  There’s a reason that grits-eating Bayou rat has been out of coaching for the last decade, and that’s because he is dumber than Vince Young taking the WonderLIc.  I gotta go now, but i’ll be back in a little bit to address the Browns.

Peace Be with you

And also with you

Tennessee Is Some Snitches

Aug. 6, 2008   Leave a Comment  

This is pretty old, but I have never seen it before. Also, it really reminds me of the AI “Practice” press conference. This guy has more hate for Tennessee than Miley Cyrus has for Selena Gomez.

Brandon Jennings’ European Vacation

July 9, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Brandon Jennings has finally made the decision that he will play next season in Europe, rather than waiting for the outcome of a third college entrance exam. I think that they should do a reality show on B-Jen. It would be ridiculous to see a guy try and interact with people and teammates in a different country, speaking a different language, especially after not being able to qualify academically r college. I already got the title, Brandon Jennings Goes to Europe: Say What?. The first episode is him trying to get a haircut and ending up with some cut like Fabricio Oberto. No producer could pass up on a guy who once said this in describing his game:

“Someone like Jrue Holiday, he’s real smooth, goes to work in the first three quarters–but he’s not a killer yet. Me, I’m a killer.”

This is definitely a guy that David Stern is eagerly awaiting.

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Joey Heisman Is Finally Getting Some Recognition

June 26, 2008   Leave a Comment  

1555278145_b95a1181ea.jpgI saw this on Deuce of Davenport this morning and it just made me laugh as hard as I did last night watching Baby Borrowers. Chase Stuart from pro-football-reference.com has updated his list of the worst quarterbacks of all-time with Big Joey at the head of the class. He gives the former Duck a little credibility by saying, “To be clear, Joey Harrington probably isn’t the worst quarterback of all time in an absolute sense. But in terms of being so far below average, but far enough above miserable to earn more playing time, Joey Harrington hurt his team more than any other QB in NFL history.” Wow, Burn.

Sunday Dumb Day 6/22

June 22, 2008   Leave a Comment  

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes, here is this week’s wrap-up.

Busted Coverage – College World Series All-Porn Name Team

The Big Lead – Look Out, Natalie Gulbis, Here Comes Perry Swenson

FB Kid – RIP “Pacman” Jones

The World of Isaac – 10 Things The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance

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Darren McFadden Should Be on Maury

April 25, 2008   1 Comment  

2416491_231_full.jpgOver the past few months, thousands of NFL prospects have been evaluated not only on their abilities, but also on their families situations and their character issues. One player in particular has been in the spotlight more than others, his name is Darren McFadden, and probably unlike many players, his off-field concerns might be garnering a larger spotlight than his talents. Hopefully, you saw the little interview special McFadden had with ESPN’s Michael Smith. Many personal topics were up for discussion, here’s a little rundown:

1. He has been in two bar brawls in the since 2006 – One involving a brother’s argument with a bouncer, the other involving someone that tried to steal another brother’s car

2. He has brother’s that were in rival gangs – none other than the Bloods and the Crips

3. He has two illegitimate children, for which he has claimed responsibility for without ever having a blood test

On top of all of this, his mother has come out and said that she did not want him to be drafted by the Jets or Raiders for fear of the cities being too big. She also proclaimed that she would love to see Darren end up in Dallas. So, Darren McFadden’s mother wants him to end up in Dallas with none other than Pac Man Jones as a possible teammate, coupled with the inevitable scene from Gangland with his two brothers, while possibly also preparing for the next installment of paternity tests on Maury.(I hope he uses a future end-zone celebration if “he is not the father”) Oh, and she added that they plan to move the whole family in with Darren, that is 11 siblings, a number high enough for my stylebook to tell me I have to write the actual digits and not the words.

Allison Stokke, Ooo Daddy Likey

April 14, 2008   Leave a Comment  

This is Allison Stokke, you might remember her story from about a year ago, but it is worth rehashing because of the sheer existence of this photo. She is a pole-vaulting star from California who received much unwanted attention on the internet after this exact photo was posted on some blog. Her Dad, also wasn’t helping to keep the attention minimal. So, why did I throw this up here now? Well, I was sitting in my living room a few days ago and looked over at my roommates computer that he had set on the coffee table and noticed the photo in question as his background. Remembering the story behind the photo, I asked him why he had that up there and his response was, “I don’t know, some pole-vaulter and she’s banging.” I laughed and thought that they should add that to her bio for Cal where she will be beginning her college career in the next couple weeks. I’m giving it until about late October before she getting down with Nate Longshore, or more like Brock Mansion, since he’s not Mormon and doesn’t have a pitiful blog.

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Speedo Guy Has Two Words For You

April 11, 2008   Leave a Comment  

speedoguy.jpgI just caught this story while doing nothing at work, apparently the Speedo Guy that they always throw on tv was caught in the act of a crotch chop. Yes, a straight up Shawn Michaels, Road Dog Jesse James, Bad-Ass Billy Gunn, Triple H, X-Pac, Degeneration X, style crotch chop. Also, professional bowler Pete Weber became known as an honorary member of DX. Anyway, Dan Shulman had to apologize for it being shown on television as it was deemed offensive. The photos and video speak for themselves. Suck It.