6-Year-Old: Most Likely To Commit Suicide

By The Second Coming | Leave a Comment

I just came back from the bar so, enough said. However, you can only imagine the amount of beer that she is going to make unsuspected college co-eds drink when she comes to America for a real education. Hopefully, her ping pong skills will not lead to a life of gambling, sex and alcohol. Man, [...]

Phelps’ Ain’t Got Shit On The Decathlon

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Bryan Clay of the decathlon is latest to come out and try to take a dump on the Michael Phelps hype. In the meantime, gold medalist Clay declares himself to be the world’s greatest athlete because of the range of skills that he had show on the world’s greatest stage. I’m just trying to figure [...]

Phelps To Host SNL

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Michael Phelps is going to be making his acting debut Sep. 13 on Saturday Night Live. The musical guest is Lil’ Wayne, the best rapper alive should have been the host in my opinion. I’m just waiting to see which SNL featured player dons some speedos.

The Phelps Conspiracy

By The Second Coming | 1 Comment

The conspiracy started August 15th as millions of people tuned in to the 100m butterfly event at the Beijing Olympics and pretended to care about who actually won. A kid from Baltimore with ADD and DUI made bars across the country almost unbearable for over an entire week. Personally, I would have rather been watching [...]

You Know How I Knew John Amaechi Was Gay?

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Upon hearing the recent news of John Amaechi coming upon some tensions at the Olympics, no pun intended, I decided to bring back an old radio clip from when the news of his sexuality broke. The guys at Right in my Mouth Radio seemed to have a pretty good idea that Amaechi was a little [...]

What Usain?

By The Second Coming | 1 Comment

Usain Bolt entertained with a Hulk Hogan pose before demolishing his own world record, while also taking it easier than that couple in the Corona commercials for the last 15 meters. That kid runs faster than Madonna goes down on A-Rod.

No Need To Pregame At Beijing Olympics

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Here is a post from Enrico Campitelli at Fanhouse. While over in Beijing, he went up to the concession counter in the Bird’s Nest and made a fraternity man-like purchase of 6 beers and 2 ice creams, which came to a meager total of $5.75. So, the Chinese are not only beating us in gold [...]

Katie Hoff Is Uncle Fester, Snap Snap

By The Second Coming | 5 Comments

I have been watching the Olympics and am sad to say that this involves women’s swimming. However, I came across youngster Katie Hoff who bore a striking resemblance to a certain well-known figure of the campy horror/comedy variety. On the left, Uncle Fester, on the right, an Olympic phenom. I haven’t been this dead on [...]

Spanish Team, Chinese, Look At These

By The Second Coming | 1 Comment

The Redeem Team’s biggest competition in this year’s Olympic tournament is looking right past the U.S. and instead has their self-impaired vision focused directly on pissing off 1.3 billion people. Here is a pre-Olympic ad showing the Spanish national team making like their hosts, while behind a traditional Chinese dragon. This was featured as a [...]

Sunday Dumb Day 7/13

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As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Deadspin – Meet The Stripper Who Saved The Red Sox
Joe Sports Fan - Fan of the Week: I Think I Threw Up In My Mouth…
Busted Coverage – Phil Hellmuth [...]

The 2014 Ryder Cup Is Going The Full Monty

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Colin Montgomerie will be the captain of team Europe in the 2014 Ryder Cup which will be in Scotland. This seemed like your basic story until you realize that there will be three Ryder Cup tournaments before Monty takes the helm. For this news to come out now must mean that Monty is more excited [...]

Drunk Belarusian Refs, Yes I Was Able To Use Belarusian

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A referee in Belrus showed up hammered to a game and had to be escorted off the field, he claimed to have back pain. People didn’t know he was drunk he until he got to the hospital, just like when you don’t realize a girl’s drunk until you get her back to your apartment.

Brandon Jennings’ European Vacation

By The Second Coming | 1 Comment

Brandon Jennings has finally made the decision that he will play next season in Europe, rather than waiting for the outcome of a third college entrance exam. I think that they should do a reality show on B-Jen. It would be ridiculous to see a guy try and interact with people and teammates in a [...]

The King Of All Tube Steaks

By The Second Coming | 3 Comments

So I’m one of those losers that watch the hot dog eating contest every year and right now I’m anticipating this year’s showdown more than the premier of the Greatest American Dog. In all of this fanfare I actually try and read up a little bit and get the latest news, like Kobayshi jaw problems from last [...]

U.S. Gets Even Worse At Soccer

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FIFA has just released their latest world rankings and the U.S. dropped 9 spots to 30th in the world. They currently sit just behind the Ivory Coast and Ukraine. Luckily, I hold the key to solving this long sought after riddle of why the U.S. is piss-poor at the world’s game. We just need hotter fans.

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