This is God Given » International

6-Year-Old: Most Likely To Commit Suicide

The Second Coming — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:38:45 +0000

I just came back from the bar so, enough said. However, you can only imagine the amount of beer that she is going to make unsuspected college co-eds drink when she comes to America for a real education. Hopefully, her ping pong skills will not lead to a life of gambling, sex and alcohol. Man, I can’t wait for the next John Daly.

Watch 6-Year-Old Ping Pong Champion on CollegeHumor

Phelps’ Ain’t Got Shit On The Decathlon

The Second Coming — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:24:16 +0000

Bryan Clay of the decathlon is latest to come out and try to take a dump on the Michael Phelps hype. In the meantime, gold medalist Clay declares himself to be the world’s greatest athlete because of the range of skills that he had show on the world’s greatest stage. I’m just trying to figure out why this story broke from OK! Magazine? This source could mean that Clay is going to start singing the national anthem, a little like someone else.

Phelps To Host SNL

The Second Coming — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:15:29 +0000

Michael Phelps is going to be making his acting debut Sep. 13 on Saturday Night Live. The musical guest is Lil’ Wayne, the best rapper alive should have been the host in my opinion. I’m just waiting to see which SNL featured player dons some speedos.

The Phelps Conspiracy

The Second Coming — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:00:48 +0000

The conspiracy started August 15th as millions of people tuned in to the 100m butterfly event at the Beijing Olympics and pretended to care about who actually won. A kid from Baltimore with ADD and DUI made bars across the country almost unbearable for over an entire week. Personally, I would have rather been watching some PNC Park action, but I instead got sloshed on Studweiser pitchers to make the scene more bearable. Americans stood across the country and held their breath as Milorad Cavic of Serbia appeared to win and end Phelps’ run at eight golds. Many cared a great deal, myself not included, but as 100thofasecond.com puts it, probably none cared more than Phelps’ sponsor Omega. Omega if you did not know has sponsored Mr. Speech Impediment since 2004 and coincidentally was the official timekeeper of the race. Anyone who finds it comical that we live in the age of Loose Change and countless Michael Moore movies has to check out this site and cackle like I did watching the Bob Saget Roast. Anyway, this guy might have a point with this photo, but the real question is how many times he whacks off per day? I’m guessing 3 on average. Once to the girl on the Big Bang Theory, and at least twice to the trailer of the new Star Trek movie.

You Know How I Knew John Amaechi Was Gay?

The Second Coming — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:37:55 +0000

Upon hearing the recent news of John Amaechi coming upon some tensions at the Olympics, no pun intended, I decided to bring back an old radio clip from when the news of his sexuality broke. The guys at Right in my Mouth Radio seemed to have a pretty good idea that Amaechi was a little femme. Make sure to check out the one liner 2 minutes and 10 seconds in, it is devastating.

What Usain?

The Second Coming — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:58:22 +0000

Usain Bolt entertained with a Hulk Hogan pose before demolishing his own world record, while also taking it easier than that couple in the Corona commercials for the last 15 meters. That kid runs faster than Madonna goes down on A-Rod.

No Need To Pregame At Beijing Olympics

The Second Coming — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:02:35 +0000

Here is a post from Enrico Campitelli at Fanhouse. While over in Beijing, he went up to the concession counter in the Bird’s Nest and made a fraternity man-like purchase of 6 beers and 2 ice creams, which came to a meager total of $5.75. So, the Chinese are not only beating us in gold medals, but they chuckle at the two drink limit of America.

Katie Hoff Is Uncle Fester, Snap Snap

The Second Coming — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:04:35 +0000

I have been watching the Olympics and am sad to say that this involves women’s swimming. However, I came across youngster Katie Hoff who bore a striking resemblance to a certain well-known figure of the campy horror/comedy variety. On the left, Uncle Fester, on the right, an Olympic phenom. I haven’t been this dead on in noticing a likeness since the Tila Tequila/Stripe from Gremlins revelation.

Spanish Team, Chinese, Look At These

The Second Coming — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:49:31 +0000

The Redeem Team’s biggest competition in this year’s Olympic tournament is looking right past the U.S. and instead has their self-impaired vision focused directly on pissing off 1.3 billion people. Here is a pre-Olympic ad showing the Spanish national team making like their hosts, while behind a traditional Chinese dragon. This was featured as a full page ad in the largest Spanish newspaper, Marca. I’m sure the very humanitarian Chinese government would love for them to be successful.

Sunday Dumb Day 7/13

The Second Coming — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:00:43 +0000

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby, here is this week’s wrap-up.

Deadspin – Meet The Stripper Who Saved The Red Sox

Joe Sports FanÂ - Fan of the Week: I Think I Threw Up In My Mouth…

Busted Coverage – Phil Hellmuth Raises Bar For Greatest Sports Entrance – Ever

Tirico Suave – I Now Hate Brett Gardner Less Than I Hate Other Yankees (Kevin Youkilis Had A Bit Part In Milk Money?)

The Sports Hernia – Tampa Bay Inexplicably Redesigns Logo AgainÂ

Associated Press – Strange discontinued Olympic sports

NY Post – Finger-Dipping Play-By-Play

Lion In Oil – There’s Great Genes In This QB Battle

Uncoached – These MLB Pitchers Remind me of Streetfighter II Characters