A Blast Magazine blog
Feb. 11, 2009 Leave a Comment
Hopefully, he competes in 2012 and walks up to the pool playing this song. And then get caught with a bong again after he wins a few golds. He could be Van Wilder, but never spend one day in class and possibly continue to have a life that people dream about. (other than having to wear speedos)
Feb. 1, 2009 Leave a Comment
I was out last night at Champion’s in downtown Tampa and spotted a few big names in the sporting world. First it was Gary Sheffield with a 10-person entourage in tow. He was managing to fend off some middle aged autographed seekers in order to take as many pictures with girls as possible. Later however as the bar was closing, I not a certain bronzed, slick-haired indivual stroll past straight to the back of the bar. It just so happened to be P Riles and a entourage of his own (fat middle aged white guys). Aside from the sportcoat mafia he was with, I noticed one more man stroll past. My eyes couldn’t help, but stare as the living myth himself, an immortal, Cal Ripken Jr. worked his way to the back of the bar to have a few drinks with Mr. Three-Peat. There could have been a ton of different topics thrown around in their conversation last night, but I think I’m banking that Riley was just throwing out fashion tips left and right.
Oct. 28, 2008 Leave a Comment
I’ve heard a bunch of stories about the Penn State fiasco following their win over OSU, but none comes close to one account. I found this photo on the Centre Daily and it depicts real fans trying to quell their mace problems with some drops of the coveted Natty Ice. This is a bold move and should be commended by the entire college community.
Aug. 16, 2008 Leave a Comment
Here is a post from Enrico Campitelli at Fanhouse. While over in Beijing, he went up to the concession counter in the Bird’s Nest and made a fraternity man-like purchase of 6 beers and 2 ice creams, which came to a meager total of $5.75. So, the Chinese are not only beating us in gold medals, but they chuckle at the two drink limit of America.
July 10, 2008 Leave a Comment
A referee in Belrus showed up hammered to a game and had to be escorted off the field, he claimed to have back pain. People didn’t know he was drunk he until he got to the hospital, just like when you don’t realize a girl’s drunk until you get her back to your apartment.
June 18, 2008 Leave a Comment
T.O. has been having his youth football camp down in Texas the last couple years, but this year it will be a star-studded affair. First, it was recently announced that former “fastest man alive,” Maurice Green will be providing some insight on speed. This seems like a good find for Owens, Green has been coaching on the weekends since retiring and should be very helpful at the camp. Then we get to the other star that will be present at the camp, Michael Irvin. I believe his role will be like Lawrence Taylor in the Waterboy. He will be providing advice on how to stay out of trouble or more likely, advice on how to not get caught with cocaine and prostitutes. With this kind of help and a guy who may have tried to commit suicide, these kids have nowhere to go but the top of the sporting world. I will keep them in my prayers.
June 11, 2008 Leave a Comment
I saw this on Deadspin this morning, who got it courtesy of Roto-World, and I thought about not writing anything because I’m still pretty hungover at work. However, this story was just too good. The scene was Fenway Park and the occasion was a 40th birthday of someone known just as the “Hammer.” It involves a slew of pornographic photos that made their way into the Red Sox bullpen. We’ll let the original writer tell the tale:
Last season at Fenway, a funny thing happened in Section 41. About 10 guys were there to celebrate some guy’s 40th birthday party (his name was “Hammer”) as well as another person’s 15th wedding anniversary. Most of them were out of towners that were not even real die-hard Red Sox fans, but the point is that they came in smashed and continued to drink like fish while there. By the second inning, we start to find out one reason why the “Hammer” is called the “Hammer”. He pulls out of his shirt pocket some pictures of his recent trip to some Caribbean Island. The first few pictures look innocent enough with him and some hot chick who apparently was his ex-wife. The 4th picture shocks you: his ex-wife is COMPLETELY naked…and it goes on from there…we’re talking about a complete pornographic sequence here. And they were passing these pictures around to each other and also to nearby fans having a jolly good time discussing the hammering ability of the “Hammer” among many other things.
One of them gets the idea that the “moneyshot” picture should be shown to the players in the Red Sox bullpen. So he folds the picture and flicks it over the railing so that it lands in the steps of the bullpen. And that is when the party really started.Papelbon comes out of the dugout during the game holding the picture in his hand with a bemused face looking for the guy who threw the picture. The whole section starts buzzing with excitement and Papelbon and the “Hammer’s” friend who threw the picture start talking to each other. I cannot hear what was said, but during the next half-inning break, Papelbon emerges. The section goes nuts again and this time Papelbon signals to the “Hammer” to get ready to catch a pitch, and he throws a baseball to the “Hammer”. It was signed by the entire Red Sox bullpen, and they wrote “Thanks for the bullpen pics”.
Naturally, everyone started going crazy at this point, and the Hammer’s friend tried to get more signed baseballs. Throughout the rest of the game, Papelbon, Timlin and one other reliever were talking and joking around with the Hammer’s friends and a deal was worked out whereby the “Hammer” would sign one of the pictures (he signed it “Thanks for the autographed baseball, The Hammer”) and allow the Red Sox to keep the picture in their bullpen in exchage for more signed baseballs. Meanwhile, everyone in the stadium can see the craziness going in with the Red Sox bullpen. Even the security guard was shown the pictures and her reaction was quite priceless. All in all, it was quite the day and quite the scene.
Now, where do you go from here? The only logically next step is to start passing along some home made sex tapes. Oh and in this photo, Pap looks like he just shit on the coats.
June 10, 2008 Leave a Comment
Cedric Benson travels by water and by land, and manages to be drunk while doing both. Now it turns out that he will be traveling right out of Chicago after he was released from the Bears on Monday. The Bears are going to be stuck with two years of $2.5M cap hits, and word is still out on whether or not Ricky Williams was invited to be in the car. It seems as though he is going in reverse order of his repeated DUI counterparts, Lohan and Hilton, look for vagina shots and sex tapes to be leaked very soon. Also, he looks pretty sloshed in his mug shot.
May 5, 2008 Leave a Comment
I just thought that this story was too good to not be thrown out there for further consumption. Bill Bramanti had his future coffin made to resemble the can of his favorite beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon. It’s especially nice to hear that he chose a beer that rarely breaks the $15 mark per 30 rack. He celebrated the completion of the project with a party where the place of his eternal rest was filled with ice and cans and the same beverage that it resembles. The word is still out on whether his wife will be buried in a coffin replica of PBR Light.
April 11, 2008 Leave a Comment
In lieu of the recent announcement by ESPN that the one and only, Wade Boggs will be added to some broadcasts of Baseball Tonight in July, I offer you the Greatest Story Ever Told.Â
My friends and I joke about this particular story more than John Daly Drinks Diet Coke, so I had to one day let the world see what they have been missing. This is a story about a man and his love affair with a certain tasty beverage. I believe this to be the greatest feat that man has ever achieved. The story has been recounted by a blog known as Tasty Booze.                                                                                                          Â
THE ORIGIN OF BOGGS
Posted by Hank Yerzimbeck April 25th, 2007
I heard the legendary story over my car radio as I was heading down I-5 to work about a year ago, listening to Mitch in the Morning on 950 KJR, as usual. For some reason or another, Mitch was gone that day so Steve Sandmeyer was hosting the show, and former Mariners and Yankees pitcher Jeff Nelson was sitting in as his sidekick.
Sandmeyer was killing some time by making small talk about baseball and about Nelly’s career and exploits as a major leaguer. The conversation turned to some of the funniest things Nelly had seen in his career when Sandy asked something like “who was the best with the ladies out of everyone you were around in baseball?†Nelson said that it was tough to say for sure, but that he figured it was probably Andre Dawson, the former Expos, Cubs, Red Sox, and Marlins slugger.
The two shared a laugh about the Hawk’s game, and then Sandmeyer stumbled upon the most compelling question ever articulated in an interview: “who would you say drank the most beer out of everyone you ever played with?†The following colloquy sheds some light on one of drinking’s biggest stars and on one of the greatest drinking feats of all time.
Sandy: Who would you say drank the most beer out of everyone you ever played with?
Nelson: Easy, Wade Boggs…..easy
Sandy: (laughing) Really!? Wade Boggs?
Nelson: Oh, yeah, without a doubt. I’ve never seen anyone drink as much beer as he did in my life:
Sandy: (laughing) Get outta here, alright, give me an example, like how much did he drink?
Nelson: Oh, I’d say, on a typical road trip, east coast to west coast [Nelly played with Boggs on the Yankees], say a road game to Seattle……Wade would drink anywhere between 50 and 60 beers.
Sandy: NO WAY!! 50 or 60 beers. That is impossible.
Nelson: No, I know…I know how crazy that sounds, and I wouldn’t believe it myself unless I saw him do it…..numerous times. And he drank nothing but Miller Lite.
Sandy: How in the hell did he have time to drink that many beers. For God’s sake, how many times did he have to go to the bathroom?
Nelson: I’m not kidding you Steve. Seriously. Wade was the kind of guy who was always the first one at the club house. So, he’d get to the clubhouse, and he’d bring a six pack with him. He’d be there drinking a beer when someone showed up, and as we were all packing our stuff up out of our lockers and getting our bags ready for the trip, Wade would sit there and drink that whole six pack.
Now, at the time, we were flying out of New Jersey, so it was somewhat of a drive from Yankee stadium to the airport in New Jersey. Wade would drink another couple of beers on the bus to the airport. At the time, we were flying this older airplane, it couldn’t make it across the country without refueling, and it wasn’t the fastest airplane in the sky. So we would stop in North Dakota or something. Wade would drink about a half rack between New Jersey and North Dakota, and it would take about a half-hour to an hour to refuel once we got there, so he’d have a few more beers while we were grounded in North Dakota.
Once we got back up in the air, Wade would drink another 10, 11, 12 beers on the way out to the west coast. The whole flight from coast to coast ususally took us well over 7 hours. We’d touch down at Sea-Tac, hop on the bus headed to the Kingdome, and Wade would have another beer or two on the bus. Then, all of us would get to the Kingdome and unpack our bags and sit around and BS with eachother, and Wade would have a beer in his hand the entire time. He was always one of the last people to leave the club house too. So I’d say that all in all, he drank over 50 beers on the trip, and this wasn’t just an isolated incident, he did that almost every time.
Sandy: Unbelievable. That’s absolutely unbelieveable.
Nelson: Yeah, I know, I’m not kidding though, let’s call up somebody and they’ll tell you man, they’ll tell you I’m not lying.
Sandy: Alright, who should we call up. Let’s take a commercial break, and then we’ll call up somebody and see if we can’t get to the bottom of this….This is absolutely amazing.
[commercial break: When the commercial end, Paul Sorrento, a former Mariner and Devil Ray, and Boggs’s and Nelly’s former teammate, is on the phone]
Nelly: Hey Paul, good to hear from you man, I haven’t talked to you in a while.
Sorrento: Yeah, what’s it been like, two, three years?
Nelly: Yeah. Hey, Paul, just to clarify now, I didn’t speak to you over the commercial break, and I haven’t talked to you about anything since we last talked a few years ago right?
Sorrento: Yeah, right.
Nelly: Alright Paul, we’ve been talking about Wade Boggs up here today in Seattle.
Sorrento: (laughing) Yeah, ole Wade huh.
Nelly: Yeah, alright Paul, I need you to answer one question for me, truthfully now….How many beers would Wade Boggs drink on an east coast to west coast road trip?
Sorrento: Oh, jeez, (exhaling like a flat tire) I don’t know, like 70.
Nelly, Sandberg, Sorrento, Hank: (Rolling on the ground laughing)
Now you know of the legend that truly is Wade Boggs. A myth among the factual, a god among men, an immortal among the mortal.
He deserves to be worshiped. Wade Boggs needs to have a religion created after him. In the name of the Chicken Man, we pray.
On BlastMagazine.com
