This is God Given » Internet

Artie Lange Goes Off On Joe Buck Live

The Second Coming — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:18:45 +0000

Here is one video that I found on Huffington Post that has yet to be taken off of youtube. In true Artie fashion, after Buck mentions that TMZ is his favorite website, he asked if his second favortie was suckingcock.com. The man is a legend and would be perfect taking over as host of the Sports Soup cause that guy makes the show actually suck cock. Also, check out the OT part of the show where it really gets ugly and the shit hits the fan when Artie starts talking about jizz.

Mr. Chi City Is On The Floor

The Second Coming — Wed, 27 May 2009 04:19:57 +0000

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A staple from the online video scene for a while now recently went to a Bulls game and proved himself once again. Here are parts 1 and 2 from Mr. Chi City’s experience with floor seats, definitely make sure you check out when he just rips Starbury during the pregame warmups about that head tattoo that makes Steve-O’s tattoo artist look like a modern day Van Gogh or some shit.

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The Most Obvious Mock Draft Pick Of All-Time

The Second Coming — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:54:58 +0000

This comes from Chad Ford’s latest mock draft and had to be the easiest speculation that he has ever made. Here is the rundown of how the Utah Jazz fill their roster.

1. Look for whitest American (ex. Matt Harpring)

2. Find white Foreigner (ex. Mehmet Okur, AK47)

3. Find black guy who went to a good school (ex. Brevin Knight, Carlos Boozer)

4. Look for best players (ex. Deron Williams)

I also think it’s hilarious how Ford tries to gloss over these facts in his “analysis”

Suzy Kolber Is Better Than Erin Andrews

The Second Coming — Mon, 04 May 2009 18:36:23 +0000

This interview with Erin Andrews truly shows how much better Miss Kolber truly is. EA is talking about crying during Sleepless in Seattle and reading TMZ, while if this same interview was done with Suzy I feel the answers would be a little bit different. I could see Kolber reading WithLeather and only admit to crying afterÂ she sees a perfectly executed sweep block from the left guard. This might sound a little dykey on Kolber’s part or gay on my part, but I just don’t want to be stuck talking about who Perez Hilton thinks is going to be next to come out of the closet which is almost assured after hearing the thoughts of Andrews. Oh and I could guess Suzy’s dream date, he’s commonly known as The Second Coming.

The Other Side Of College Sports

The Second Coming — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:44:33 +0000

This comes from Collegehumor and is classic.

Sports are much different in college than they were in high school. In high school sports were all about school spirit, competition, and winning. In college sports are about trying to impress other people and having something to talk about to strangers at parties. This is why you must be very careful about which sports you play on the weekends. Here is what you are saying when you pick your sport in college.

Ultimate Frisbee

Soccer

Football (if played in high school)

Football (if didn’t play in high school)

Table Tennis

Lacrosse

Golf

Yachting

Rugby

Unicycle

6-Year-Old: Most Likely To Commit Suicide

The Second Coming — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:38:45 +0000

I just came back from the bar so, enough said. However, you can only imagine the amount of beer that she is going to make unsuspected college co-eds drink when she comes to America for a real education. Hopefully, her ping pong skills will not lead to a life of gambling, sex and alcohol. Man, I can’t wait for the next John Daly.

Watch 6-Year-Old Ping Pong Champion on CollegeHumor

Shaq Attack 2012, As Predicted By The Mayan Calendar

The Second Coming — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:48:08 +0000

My personal friends over at FATAWESOME have ventured into the sports world with their videos. Start protecting your manhood, because they will soon castrate the entire sports community.

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Y2J Punches A Girl

The Second Coming — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:03:29 +0000

I don;t know the story behind this scene, but it got pretty ugly when some fans started to get in the face of Chris Jericho of the WWE. There were some pretty good heckles thrown out there like Monday Night Jackoff, but when he sticks a girl with a quick right, you know that some line was crossed. Let’s see how Vince works this story into the script.

Michael Jackson And Troy Polamalu Have The Same Voice

The Second Coming — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:30:44 +0000

Here are a couple interviews, one each for the King of Pop and the Steeler safety respectively. The first is of Jacko doing what he does best, being creepy and off-putting. The second is of Polamalu on the 700 Club, where he probably had a leg-press competition with Pat Robertson. Watch these two videos and you will notice that their voices are eerily similar. Hopefully Troy doesn’t start sleeping with other people’s kids in his bed. That might be a tough one to talk about in the lockerroom, which is oddly enough one place that MJ would pay to be.

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What Kind Of Loser Made This?

The Second Coming — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:22:23 +0000

Here is a link from Galactic Binder, and yes this is a site devoted entirely to Star Wars. It’s their Top 10 Star Wars-Sports Crossovers. The list is pretty classic, but there is definitely way to much George Lucas for me. That guy is the definition of a sketch. Also, how many times a day do you think the writer of this post beats off to Princess Leia in that metal bikini from Return of the Jedi. Let’s just say that the amount can only be achieved by using the Force and an absurd amount of hotel body lotion.