The Ernie Banks Of The Wrigley Bleachers

Aug. 19, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Thanks to Lion in Oil for posting this video and showing to me the obvious number one pick in a draft of potential fraternity pledges.

Kids Hates Reporters Almost As Much As He Likes To Say "Number 1"

Aug. 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Oh Kosuke

April 2, 2008   Leave a Comment  

He has already won over Cub fans, but seriously, how many others can he win over with the words “fuk” and “dome” in the same name. I can’t wait to hear a story circa “Who wants to sex Mutumbo” in the coming months. Here’s to Kosuke walking into a North Side bar and yelling, “Everyone, come Fuk ‘my’ dome.”

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If The Moon Was Made Out Of BBQ Spare Ribs…

Feb. 25, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Hello Again Everybody, I am a lazy piece of shit so I waited until now to finally discuss one of my idols in sports, someone who transcended the game that he covered and became a pop culture figure. His name, Harry Caray, a man who used the booth to express his opinions as a fan not a as a broadcaster. Caray never tried to act like an analyst or question why a certain technique was used. The only thing Caray ever thought of was having a good time at the ball game, with his version of a good time being a cold beer and a Cubs win.

The legendary play-by-play man died ten years ago this week. I remember shedding a tear when I heard the news of Caray death, because for some reason every Cubs game was broadcast on WGN and into my home in western Pennsylvania. Caray may get made fun of (thanks to Will Ferrell) and may not be seen as legitimate (false), but he made the game fun to watch. I just regret that I was too young pick up on the real meanings behind some of these infamous quotes.

“To some people this is beer. To me it’s bread and butter.”

“You see a lot more guys dropping dead jogging than going to the neighborhood bar. I see a lot more old drunks than old doctors.”

“Boy oh Boy. Budweiser. How can they make it so cheap and have it taste so good?”

“Anyone who tells you that you can have as much fun sober as you can drinking is lying to you.”

“What does a Mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series?
No Cubs.”

Do you really want to know how true a fan Harry Caray was? He never took his phone number out of the yellow pages. Anyone and everyone could have called this living legend and he wouldn’t go nuts, he would just have a conversation like a normal person. After once again remembering the greatness that was Harry Caray, I have one wish.

I wish that Harry Caray was still alive so that I could call him up and tell him what to start calling his favorite beer. Studweiser.

If anyone drank a real “Studweiser,” it was Harry Caray. An American Hero.