1. Andres Nocioni is to white blood cells as Yao Ming is to AIDS.

2. Nocioni’s getting beat down worse than Brett Myers’ wife.

3. Yao Ming’s dropping loads all over Andres Nocioni.

Stanley Pringle is the point guard for the often over-looked Penn State basketball team, which is a long way from the NCAA tourney upset days of Calvin Booth. The story goes that Pringle walked up to a girl in the library stacks and tried to start a conversation with her. When she did not engage in the conversation, Pringle sat down behind her and began to pleasure himself. He has been officially charged with lewdness and disorderly conduct.

I kind of wish that people cared about Penn State basketball because the opposing team fans could be ruthless. My true wish however would have been for Pringle to be yelling some Nick Manning calls while in the act.

This story also reminds me of a classic that involved the late Eddie Griffin of Seton Hall, the Houston Rockets and the Minnesota Timberwolves. Here’s a little except via wikipedia:

On March 30, 2006, Griffin was involved in a car crash. Witnesses and friends stated that he was watching a pornographic movie on a DVD in his vehicle, and was masturbating while driving. After the accident, Griffin entered a nearby convenience store. The store’s security camera recorded video of Griffin repeatedly saying he was drunk, that he didn’t have a driver’s license, and pleading with the man whose SUV he crashed into, offering to buy him a new car in exchange for not calling the police. Police eventually did arrive, however, but allegedly did not require Griffin to submit to a breathalyzer test or field sobriety test. An investigation was conducted to determine if the officers violated standard protocol in light of Griffin’s celebrity status.

So, overall Stanley, someone did it better. Also, the best comment I have seen about this story is “Once you pop, you can’t stop.”