Jeff Reed Is The Missing Tool Academy Participant

Jan. 12, 2009   1 Comment  

The new VH1 show, Tool Academy premiered last night and lived up to the hype. From ridiculous sayings to made up names like M.E.G.A. (Makes Every Girl Aroused) this program is at the apex of modern day television genius. However, in watching the show, I couldn’t help but think about one specific person who casting overlooked. His name is Jeff Reed and when he’s not kicking field goals, he’s out beating the guts of Duquesne co-eds. I just wanted to officially throw Quadzilla’s name out there, so that when the next season begins casting, this travesty can be avoided.

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Steelers Or The Guy Lost For President

Nov. 24, 2008   Leave a Comment  

I found this video on Pittsburgh Sports and Miniature Ponies, which I feel is the best named blog on the internet, and realized that I need to add a political aspect to this blog. I mean if NFL owners are endorsing candidates then why shouldn’t 6 year old girls that pick their nose be heard. Overall, I found her assessment to be dead on. Also, to analyze this discussion further; she doesn’t seem to know her name and she sounds exactly like either Huey, Dewey or Louie from Ducktales.

Mike Tomlin: Dey Know

Sept. 15, 2008   1 Comment  

It turns out Mike Tomlin has a second job that he’s damn good at. . . Take a look at rapper Shawty Lo compared to Tomlin

and i quote tomlin from his single . . .

M.T. . . I got flavor
Cuz you know the kid got paper
Street thug but I can be tailored
Every now and then i might rock gators
i’m the man and I know that
I got cash i’m talkin throw back
100 grand what’s that
I hit the club and I blow that
all these hoes know that
Im picture perfect made for Kodak

Believe Merch Gets Ruthless And An Old Song Called Tom's Brady's A C#nt

Sept. 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Here’s the link to believemerch.com which is a site with some pretty good Steelers apparel, not to mention a shirt that Tom Brady fans wont’s really appreciate. Also, here is a song that WDVE Pittsburgh made before the 2004 AFC Championship game that I feel needs posting.

[audio:http://thisisgodgiven.com/files/2008/09/tom-bradys-a-cnt.mp3]

62 Year Old Dies In Mandelbaum Scene

Aug. 10, 2008   Leave a Comment  

An 83 year old man is charged with killing his 62 year old stepson following a dispute involving the Steelers preseason game. The altercation arose after the stepson, Roy C. Wright, dropped his daughters off and left the game instead of staying with them. When he returned home he was confronted and shot. It’s just tough to believe a guy would pass up a ticket to Heinz field with $4.50 beers. He deserved to be shot.

Seafood Legend In Pittsburgh Adds To City’s Legend

May 23, 2008   2 Comments  

If you have ever been down to Strip District and walked into Wholey’s, you know that the owner definitely doesn’t give a shit. Don’t get me wrong, you get the best and freshest seafood, (which is saying something for the city of Pittsburgh because it’s not exactly near the ocean) but they hack it up and dish it out right in front of your face. And now the owner of Wholey’s will be refusing to sell any octopi to Red Wing fansfor fear of them throwing it on the ice at the Mellon Arena. From the countless songs to beer specials for shitting on Sienna Miller, Pittsburghers think a little bit differently than other sports fans and Mr. Wholey is just one more example. Here are a few reasons why Pittsburgh is better than some other sports towns:

Philadelphia – Pittsburghers only boo guys named Kordell Stewart.

Boston – Pittsburghers aren’t self-loathing and don’t want to slit their wrists after every loss.

New York – Pittsburgh news outlets do not report anything bad about the athletes, and lead broadcasts with player vacations to their homeland.

Dallas – Pittsburgh teams have a little respect for the game rather than bringing in guys like T.O. and Pac Man. Also, three more words, No Jerry Jones.

Oakland – Do not dress up like the Legion of Doom or have an owner that resembles a character from a movie based on a Roald Dahl book.

Baltimore – Pittsburgh has hockey team, a quarterback and a football team that isn’t purple.

Cleveland – Pittsburgh has won a title in the past 50 years, and doesn’t lose franchises.

Everyone else – Jesus is on Pittsburgh’s side

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Big Ben Taking On Romo The Homo

April 18, 2008   1 Comment  

ben-roethlisberger-parties.jpgThe other day on the Dan Patrick replacement show on ESPN Radio, Ben Roethlisbeger took a few jabs at his counterpart in Dallas and the soon to be Aunt, Jessica Simpson. Here is how the discussion went with none other than Mike Tirico and Michele Tafoya, ouch, not about the comments about how terrible that radio team sounds. Surprisingly, Michele Tafoya was not sexually assaulted in studio. Please read that link, it is incredible.

“I got to play at Dallas, I think it was my rookie year,” Roethlisberger said. “I’m glad they’re coming up here to play us. I’m thinking about sending an all-expenses paid trip for Tony (Romo) to go to Mexico.”

Tafoya shot back, “I thought you were going to bring Jessica to you.” And Roethlisberger played along. “We could do that too,”

Big Ben said. “I might just fly her in.”

These comments will hopefully re-spark a dynasty that has been dormant since Superbowl XXX. Romo is hopefully going to come back with some pitiful comment, and I hope even more that it is Jessica Simpson who lays down the comeback.

Possible Tony Romo comeback:

     “He’s just jealous because he’s not as good looking as me, even though I would totally go down on him.”

Possible Jessica Simpson comeback:

     “What are Steelers anyway, do they steal stuff?”

Possible Big Ben reponse:

     “You’re a hooker.”

This Isn’t Cincinatti

March 24, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Sorry for the hiatus, but it was the first week of March Madness, for which I am saving up for a future post. I just want to say a little something about the now former Steeler, Cedrick Wilson. Recently, Wilson and his girlfriend(mother of his child), Lindsey Paulat, have been speed-dialing 911 with some domestic issues. In mid-January the police were called to their home and braced themselves for a 12-hour standoff that including gunfire after Wilson had apparently in a phone conversation told Paulat to kill herself. Following the incident, Paulat ended up in a scene from Girl, Interrupted and Wilson filed some kind of paperwork that included language saying that she might kill him if she had access to a gun. So, I thought ok, this has to be over when court paperwork and insane asylums are involved. I was wrong. Last week Wilson walked into a suburban restaraunt, pushed Paulat and straight up dropped her as she turned around in what I imagine to resemble a Kimbo Slice knockout even though Wilson is only listed at 5’10″ 183lbs. Wilson was released just hours later as the Steelers needed to make a statement with this incident coming days after Pro-Bowler James Harrison was cited similarly. The following day Paulat tried to explain that she was only pushed and the the people around them must have misconstrued the situation. Doubtful, Paulat’s just trying to keep the money coming in while also trying to seem less crazy.

Legendary owner Dan Rooney has come under fire with the handling of the situation and the apparent double standard of the Wilson and Harrison cases. He fumbled a little bit with his words and seemed to try and legitimize the Harrison wife-beating. He did some PR work the next day to explain the comments, and did what any owner would do. Release the fourth string wide receiver who’s girlfriend dabbles in gunplay, and hold onto the first-time pro-bowler who has powerbombed a Browns fan after the slob ran onto the field. Good choice Mr. Rooney, and to the now unemployed Cedrick Wilson, make sure she’s not crazy enough to burn down your house.

What’s On Your Cranium, My Dear Myron?

Feb. 27, 2008   Leave a Comment  

Here is the article that I wrote for the Big Time otherwise known as the main page. Check it out and get a glimpse into what I love about sports by learning about a man that I grew up listening to. Also, I’ve included a video that makes me tear up.


Myron Cope, the 35-year color commentary man for the Pittsburgh Steelers died Wednesday morning in a nursing home in Mt. Lebanon, Pa. Cope had been struggling with his health since leaving the broadcast booth after the 2004 season.

Before joining the Steelers family, Cope was a widely read freelancer for Sports Illustrated reporting on such iconic figures as Howard Cosell and Roberto Clemente. He later moved onto to television at the request of a station manager, before being hired by a franchise that had not yet seen much success in a nearly 50-year history.

Cope along with a certain fair haired quarterback from Louisana Tech made their respective debuts with the Steelers on September 20, 1970, and it took only two seasons before the once pride less team became arguably the greatest dynasty in professional football history.

During this time Cope developed a relationship with the fans of Pittsburgh that rivaled none, delighting fans with his “yinzer” accent and quirky catchphrases that only he could get away with using. His countless “yoi’s” and “double yoi’s” as well as his classic music video will live on throughout the history of the Steelers as the turning point. A turning point from a baseball town to a football town, it was a turning point that gave the city and fans an identity.

“I guess sometimes in the football business we all take ourselves too seriously and Myron never let anybody do that, so he had that knack for sort of reminding us of what business we were in,” Art Rooney once said of the 5′4″ broadcasting icon.

His contributions also ranged to five books, none entirely about the Steelers, the prevalence of the term “the Immaculate Reception” and most of all his creation of the “Terrible Towel.” The towel was original and has not been done better in more than 30 years, but the truly significant fact about this favorite dish rag is that in 1996, Cope donated his ownership of the trademarks to the Allegheny Valley School. Over $1 million has been raised to support this institution caring for over 900 physically and mentally disabled children.

Funeral arrangements have not yet been made, but expect nothing short of a remembrance rivaling the man who hired him, Art Rooney. Steeler nation will genuinely mourn grieve after this loss and reminisce as this is the end of an era. In Pittsburgh his passing will be taken as a loss of royalty because when it comes to the Steel City, Myron Cope is as close as you can come to being a king.