FIFA has just released their latest world rankings and the U.S. dropped 9 spots to 30th in the world. They currently sit just behind the Ivory Coast and Ukraine. Luckily, I hold the key to solving this long sought after riddle of why the U.S. is piss-poor at the world’s game. We just need hotter fans.

Deuce of Davenport posted about this story, which involved the former “best soccer player in the world,” extortion and transvestite prostitutes. Yeah boy, it sounds like a story that should be told on Howard Stern. Two-time World Cup champion, Ronaldo, was found at a hotel a hotel in Brazil involved in a argumentwith a few transvestites that he had come to an agreement with for sex. Prostitution is legal in Brazil, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal over there, but the trannies tried to get $30,000 out of the gap-toothed forward in return for hiding the situation from the media. It’s hard to believe that he is out looking for STD’s when his last two relationships were with an MTV Brazil VJ and a supermodel. The best part of this story comes in a quote from police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira:

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”

I believe that Nogueira got the words a little mixed up, he probably meant, “Immorality at it’s best.”