This is God Given » Soccer

Sunday Dumb Day 8/24

The Second Coming — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 23:22:58 +0000

As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Megan from I Love Money, here is this week’s wrap-up.

Goal.com – Ronaldo Wins Gay Icon Award

Awful Announcing – Could There Be A Gilbert Arenas Reality Show In The Works?

The World of Isaac – Woman Wrestler Wants To Fingerbang Or something

With Leather – There’s A Lot of Sex At The Olympics

Hugging Harold Reynolds – Tramp Stamps Of The XXIX Olympiad

Real Clear Sports – Top 10 Olympic Endorsements

Busted Coverage – Scotty Nguyen Wants A F@$king Cocktail Baby

on 205th – Golf Ball To The Forehead

Drunk Belarusian Refs, Yes I Was Able To Use Belarusian

The Second Coming — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:18:36 +0000

A referee in Belrus showed up hammered to a game and had to be escorted off the field, he claimed to have back pain. People didn’t know he was drunk he until he got to the hospital, just like when you don’t realize a girl’s drunk until you get her back to your apartment.

U.S. Gets Even Worse At Soccer

The Second Coming — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:38:55 +0000

FIFA has just released their latest world rankings and the U.S. dropped 9 spots to 30thÂ in the world. They currently sit just behind the Ivory Coast and Ukraine. Luckily, I hold the key to solving this long sought after riddle of why the U.S. is piss-poor at the world’s game. We just need hotter fans.

Criminal Geniuses Steal $1.1M During Euro Cup Final

The Second Coming — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:24:07 +0000

A Sarajevo post office was robbed of $1.1M on Sunday after security guards were taken by surprise as they watched the Euro Cup final between Spain and Germany. Like a scene out of Heat, men stormed the building and made off with the, while also beating the stunned security guards in the process. So, first they surprise them, while they aren’t doing their job, then they beat them. They got kicked, while they were down worse than Britney Spears in a child custody courtroom. I also want to know how a post office had $1.1M, did they have really rare stamps?

Leave It To Peru To Take Sporting Promotions To A Higher Level

The Second Coming — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:13:39 +0000

I found this on Deadspin and it quite possibly be the best example of pre-game hype I have ever come across, This is Nolberto Solano of Peru and he is pointing his weapon at the jersey of Urugauy. The campaign was not successful in that Peru lost by a score of 6-0. I’m just waiting for these over the top gimmicks to cross over into America. Forget the gun, I got some better ideas:

1. Show Johnathan Papelbon drawing dicks on a picture of Mariano Rivera’s face.

2. Show Dmitri Young taking a dump on an opposing team’s field

3. Have Gilbert Arenas wiping his ass with his latest contract offer.

Ronaldo Making the Moonlight Bunny Ranch Seem Very Legitimate

The Second Coming — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:10:14 +0000

Deuce of Davenport posted about this story, which involvedÂ the former “best soccer player in the world,” extortion and transvestite prostitutes. Yeah boy, it sounds like a story that should be told on Howard Stern. Two-time World Cup champion, Ronaldo, was found at a hotel a hotel in Brazil involved in aÂ argumentwith a few transvestites that he had come to an agreement with for sex. Prostitution is legal in Brazil, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal over there, but the trannies tried to get $30,000 out of the gap-toothed forward in return for hiding the situation from the media. It’s hard to believe that he is out looking for STD’s when his last two relationships were with an MTV Brazil VJ and a supermodel. The best part of this story comes in a quote from police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira:

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”

I believe that Nogueira got the words a little mixed up, he probably meant, “Immorality at it’s best.”